DM: Boe Players: Arskin, Billy, Rex, Arilian, HW, Reese, Tina, Bird Pets: Frank (tarantula) It’s the first day at a new school, that has recently opened up. Lions glory academy. The gang gets on the bus, which is gigantic, flying, and being carried by 65 horses, with the bus driver riding on one. He is an old man. It’s a 65 horse power bus. Rex sits with the jocks, and is immediately bench lifted by a half orc named Dozer. Arskin, HW, and Reese, sit in the back to be emo, but keep getting talked to by the social butterflies. Arilian sits at the front. Bird sits next to a High-as-hell drow who offers him a blunt. Bird is high out of his mind for the rest of the day because he’s never smoked in his life. Bird also has multiple fake IDs and uses them all the time. Tina sits by some loud annoying kids who are blasting teenager music from a boombox. Billy sits next to a teifling girl the bus driver warned them not to sit next to, named Lamb. He tries to flirt with her. He has a sword in his backpack. He tries to impress her by curling Rex, who is 7 feet tall and 400 pounds. He gets crushed. At some point during the flying bus ride, Lamb and two other kids get up, declare revolution, and try to take over the bus. No one else stands. The bus driver says he expected this, turns into a monster, and then the bus is revealed to be an eldritch mimic. We got ate by a mimic. We are unable to fully defeat it before we see a tower in the distance, and the bus soon lands in front of it. We get off the bus, to see an elderly wizard. He is the vice principle. He sends Lamb and the two others to hell for detention. He says he made the bus a mimic because he knew there would be some bad apples on board, apparently having little to no consideration for literally everyone else on that bus. Billy then steps closer and immediately tries to cut off the vice principles beard. He casts “give wedgie” on Billy. “bold of you to assume I’m wearing underwear!” He wedgies his pants instead, which rip, leaving him butt naked. He is told to go sit in the corner. The vice principle tells us that we must go to the auditorium for our orientation speech, and to follow the yellow brick road, not the blue or red. “Do NOT stray from the path into the very dangerous and unsafe forest around you.” Billy is given a pair of holy pants from Reese, to which he rips the back of so his ass is out anyways. They follow the yellow brick road to the auditorium, and split into their respective groups like bard, rogue, fighter, cleric, etc. Tina accidentally sits on a rogue guy that is hiding in a chair, named Shawn, and he gets killed by a lightning strike and then revived by clerics. Bird hides in the shadows along the sides, with some kid named Zeke, who is also a rogue. Billy encounters the hoidiest-toidiest elf ever, carried on a gold palanquin and with golden flowing hair, and challenges him to a duel. The elf calls him poor and says he doesn’t fight poor people. Billy insults his financial status, which finally angers the elf enough to agree. They shall duel tomorrow. Lamb also bets 10,000 dollars on Billy losing after coming back from hell. The headmaster is an angry looking bug bear, who gives a shitty speech, before asking what the most powerful magic is. Three wizards in the front yell “the magic of friendship!” They immediately get smited by lightning and killed, to which the clerics rush to their aid for extra credit. Billy yells “racism!” and someone else yells “necromancy?” They are not smited down, which means that racism is indeed a powerful form of magic. The headmaster yells that “no! its chronomancy!!!” And they are all dismissed after a couple more kids get struck by lightning, to start their first day of class. They are grouped together. The day ends, and they go home.

DM: Boe Players: Arskin, Billy, Rex, Arilian, HW, Reese, Tina, Bird Pets: Lunch Meat (chicken), Frank (tarantula) We start by playing out the end of the first day of school, where we all go home to our parents. Birds parents think he’s an angel, but he’s only like that around them. Tinas dad is not around, mom is very strict and uptight. Reese is a drow son to a matriarchal drow family, and his mom sucks big time. HW has a normal home life. Arilian has a samurai family and strict dad. Rex lives so far away that its midnight when he’s home, and his dad is milking the moon cows, and he gives Rex some words of wisdom. Billys father tells Billy that they did a DNA test and are in fact, 1 percent elf. Billys mom is a Karen. Askin lives like batman, his parents are always out, and all he has is his fancy butler. They next morning, they arrive at school. Rex gets stabbed with an arrow, by Billy, to track him, but he misses, and hits himself. Reese bullies a kid for lunch money. Billy took a live chicken named “Lunch Meat” and put it on his head, that he stole from an orc he bullied. He is now a pet. Billy murders a fairy. Bird tries to murder Arelian. The Clerics are in the walls. Frank searches the bullied dancing half elf for the social butterflies for a key. The key is moist. The social butterflies admitted to plot to steal in front of Arilian. The bell rings. They go to bard class and the teacher is a hippy. They form a drum circle to share their feelings. Dozer is asked his feelings and he's an angry jock, and Rex, a fellow jock, calms him down by telling him that "today is an amethyst and your acting like a ruby" "we'll work out later, don't worry" “you know, ruby’s? Them purple rocks?” Billy tries to sing a racist song about elves and throws Lunch Meat the chicken at the teacher when he puts a "silence" spell on him. He misses Lunch Meat. Lamb shares her feelings about detention in hell. Lamb shares that Billy bet her 10,000 dollars if he beats an elf in a fight later. Tina openly shares she wants to bully someone, and has a target already, and the teacher goes "you go queen!" Billy tries to steal a guitar on the way out the door. Teacher yells “Son of a biscuit!!!” in anger. Tina (aggressively) shoves Billy into a locker. The locker is a void, Billy looks into the void, and the void looks back. Billy blows a kiss to the void. He then flies out another locker at full speed and splats into the wall. Then immediately shoves Tina into a locker. She flies out a locker, down a flight of stairs. We go to ranger class. Rex sits between Billy and Tina in class. We have class outside the forbidden forest. Pay no attention to the swirly thing behind the curtain. Our teacher is an invisible turtle person, named Michelangelo. He is eating kale. The swirly thing behind the curtain is a portal to another dimension. “oh? We’re hunting endangered species?” -Bird Tina threatens to stab Billy and Billy takes a step away. In the portal, there’s a pile of gold. Then a dragon comes out. Rex gets died immediately. Dragon gets drunk. Will Arelion insta kill the dragon? He has misunderstood the assignment. The dragon wakes up and tail whips like everyone. Michelangelo dies on the spot. Rex about to die fr this time??? We need a blood sacrifice to subdue the dragon and Rex is already at 0 health, so…..? Reese does the blood sacrifice. Bird shoots Rex in the chest with a healing arrow, he has 1 HP. The arrow is also a tracking arrow. To get the dragon back through the portal, we must throw rocks in. Arskin uses a spell to throw a five-foot cube of dirt into the portal instead. The dragon follows. Billy is fighting the voices to steal the gold. Arskin is holding him back. Eventually we bring the teacher to the Clerics to heal him. But Bird steals from him first before he is revived. “did you close the portal?” “uhhhhhhhhh…” cut to dragon flying through the sky. “you guys failed the test” “MY MOTHER WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS!” -Tina

DM: Boe Players: Arskin, Billy, Rex, Arilian, HW, Reese, Tina, Bird Pets: Lunch Meat (chicken), Frank (tarantula) Dramatic intro monologue with emo music It’s lunch, we are at the cafeteria. The cafeteria is full of clicks of classes. Lots of human rights violations. CRAZY human rights violations. Bird sits with the quiet kids and immediately pisses them off by talking to the stoner drow (who is a druid). Bird tries to get alcohol from the drow “high” elf since he handed him a stolen ID (which he stole from the stoner). They then plan to steal “stuff” from the bard teacher later. Its drugs. They also want to know if air genasi can get high faster, so they walk up to Tina and she says she doesn’t talk to poor people. Billy meets new dwarves and tries to recruit them to his dads club. They don’t sound convinced. Billy starts talking about evil elf events like Lolth (spider god) (despite how humans cause 99 percent of issues) “Reese, does this guy speak for you?” “No.” The dwarves accept pamphlets, and Billy goes “My mom makes sure I never leave home without them” One of the three dwarfs sits with Reese like “that guy is crazy!” Reese then goes over to the social butterflies to tell them he has that key they wanted. The social butterflies send Reese away, before going “Oh my god he’s like so hot, do you know him?” and Rex is like “why would you send him away if you is interested in him romantically? I dunno him like that” “he was on the bench” it just goes on and on. Tina is with Shawn, who is a tech dressed rogue and un stealthy, and the other guy is aggressively normal. (Shawn and Ooblec) Tinas lunch is ridiculous. The tablemates are side eyeing her like “you sharin?” “well ya see, uhhh-“ and then they talk about how “I think we might have to kill or fight the headmaster.” “what? We have to fight the headmaster?” “I can tell your first years!” Billy meanwhile sees what the fairy in the corner is up to. He is with a goliath and a bugbear. “what are you up to?” “none ya” I immediately punch him in the face (rolls a 1) Billy takes damage, then blindfolds himself, then punches the guy in the crotch. Misses. Stabs him in the arm. Then stabs him in the eyes. Miss. Bugbear rages. Billy gets hit. Goliath picks up chair. Misses all 3 attacks. Meanwhile Reese approaches Bird to plan a heist. The goliath grabs a bomb from his pocket then. And just puts it in Billy’s backpack. Billy punts it into the bugbears mouth and it works! It eventually explodes and kills people. Billy gets explode (again) Dies. Although the bugbear is pretty beat up too. Lunch meat joins the battle, then runs away to tina. Billy wakes up in hell. Then gets revived but is missing the most “important” piece. “I lost my cock and my cock!” Michelangelo arrives. Billy is at the nurses office. Bird, the high drow, and Reese go to the artificer classroom to steal something. Frank and Reese open the door, and Frank knows what all the machines in the room do somehow. They trigger a trap, drow gets launched into a locker, and comes out the other end. Bird tells him, after he questions them, that they are just getting their “homework” and then Bird gaslights him more, and he leaves. Battle music starts. Frank is RUNNING around on Reese’s face. DANGER! He gets locked out. They both unlock the secret door and it reveals a coffin. Theres armor in the coffin. Then Bird writes in big letters on the wall “BIRD WAS HERE” “are you seeing this scent bro?” “my spiders been acting up” -Reese “why’d I hire you?” “you have fun seeing all your colors and shit.” -Bird They drag the armor out by the arms and legs and jump into a locker hoping to be teleported somewhere else. They arrive outside the cafeteria. Frank gazed at the void. Bird puts the armor in his locker, stuffing it in, but he is isolated. The hallway lights start to flicker. A goliath appears behind him. He doesn’t notice him, backs into him, goes “hey whats up?” zero thoughts. It’s the rogue teacher. His name is MONTI CRISTO He looks down at him. “look at my heist!” “that’s a good heist. Although you tripped 3 alarms.” “yeah but I didn’t get caught” “I caught you.” “yeah well-“ “you are a first year, you have no missions. What’s that letter in your hands? you weren’t considering doing that, are you?” “uhhhhhhhh….. no.” “never do that letter.” “sure…” “you set off all the traps in the room.” He then gives Bird the location of the rogue class and he is given second year status “ah! Freshman year! Those were the best four years of my life but its time to move on!” “you will be given lots more missions.” “and if your friend was seeing colors and smelling a flower scent, it means we have an intruder” “well that’s not a rogue mission” “yes it is, do it. Its your mission.” The teacher teleports away and the lights turn back on. Meanwhile, the nurse is an elf. Billy takes a nap. Reese goes back to the social butterflies to ask what’s wrong with Frank, then goes to every table. Frank has gazed at something he couldn’t understand. Its like “if you explain taxes to an ant” Billy returns, tries to get lunch meat back. He runs back to Billy. “One down, one to go!” Billy has a magic dagger, gets Arskin to cast “google translate” spell, and he just takes it and puts it in his pocket and walks off. Bell rings. We go to fighter class! Fighter teacher is wearing a horrendous outfit of belts on his chest and short-short jean shorts. He has a holster on his belt for a brick cellphone. A Motorola. Weapon of choice: a mic stand He talks like a wrestling announcer and says that we will have to train by fighting each other, and by fighting higher ranked students. (fighter teachers name is Gorilla Monsoon) High elf comes out. (Elf’s name is Gorenn) Almost fucks it up by falling on his face. Bird and Rex have to rush off to get the armor for Billy! Begin! Gorenn throws a javelin at Billy. 3 times actually. Billy misses his turn. Gorenn throws a Molotov fireball. Billy blindfolds himself and drops his weapon. Gorenn has closed the gap. Billy licks his healing arrow in desperation. A sink hole opens up it eats Billy who DROPPED HIS SWORD. He then gets a dagger and stabs Gorenn, making him drop his weapon. Gorenn then beats the shit out of Billy anyways, and Rex and Bird finally return with the armor but its too late by then. “Arilian quick, shoot him with healing arrows!” Billy passes out. Therefore Gorenn wins and drags Billy off, then yells at him for what he did wrong, like dropping his weapon in the middle of a fight.

DM: Boe Players: Arskin, Billy, Rex, Arilian, HW, Reese, Tina, Bird, guest bobby bagpipes Pets: Lunch Meat (chicken), Frank (tarantula) The first fight is now over, no more rounds. Just a taste. We will be divided by classes with our seniors. Tabaxi named roar is the barbarian senior. He has a big ego. Carlon French something, ballina girl whos prissy. Is a doll? Cleric gets no intro. Mountain drawf. Spongebob soda hat. Theodore, Firbolg, he is sleepy. Paladin. Druid, husky. Scott. Wants Lunch meat. whisper, fire genasi, ranger. (hot tina) monk thumberwhisk halfling and is also wizard. (he blind) Artificer, tony stark. Ooblek, rogue. Most normal man. Gorrenn is the fighter senior. We are all divided to our seniors. The school doesn’t have much for monks. “my mother will here about this!” “I hate it here” Tins is so over it. Threatens him. Bobby is 35 and likes to get drunk. He beats up kids. He hits him with a spell of nausea. Paladins turn. Bugbear who was playing music and the dozer the orc are also there. (larry long arm) Paladin has to be woken up from nap. Torantulas are his fav food. Frank scurries in terror. Paladin senior is serving the god of sleep and dreams. Asrkin appears with bird by ooblek. His hoodie says “help” He is dubbing over himself. Bird was too busy migrating to go to school. He hands them water balloons full of paint. They have to make every rogue look worse than themselves. Bird immediately starts aiming at arskin and he throws it too, both of them. Bird can NOT get paint on these, his mom will be upset! Bird runs to get the armor that was left in the pit, asrkin throws a balloon at birds back. Asrkin rolls a 1 and his claws pop his own balloon and it gets all over him. Arilian gets the armor. Ranger, whisper, does not seem to care. HW gives a little wave. Will not initiate. They want to live by themselves. They just stand there for like 10 minutes. The dog barks at HW. Whisper is just like “my bad, didn’t see ya” She’s just like “oh I’m supposed to be teaching you, huh?” They go back and forth for a bit and talk about undead Fighter is Gorenn. Arilian and billy. “Ah, bitch number one and stuert number two!” “I may as well learn your actual names!” Arilian proceeds to speak Japanese. Gorrenn just stares at him for a minute. Gorrenn is like “are you here for the armor or are you here for your sword being better than everyone elses?” “where’s your palanquin? How are you supposed to prove your status? Do you think were equals? Look at my palanquin!” “I have a horse?” “bring the horse next time?” “but they don’t fit on the bus!” “bitch number 1!!!” “you’re the second person to beat my ass today and you’re an elf so its even worse” he just sits down and thinks real hard. Sucks on a healing arrow. Billys dad is a grand wizard so he also has wizard things. Bard Carlon Warforge ballerina gives rex a trombone after Rex tells her ha plays the recorder. He plays it like super good immediately Gorilla slams desk to the music Rest of class proceeds onwards There is a shadow in the ceiling but no one sees it. Its 10 feet up. The shadow is tabaxi shaped Bell rings. Ballerina threatens Reese and Reese says he will bring bird to her. Bird goes into the rafters and tries to balloon someone and they immediately get ballooned. He looked like a toothpaste ad but not anymore. Right in the face. He falls and all the red paint is all over the ground. Billy kicks him. Rogue class. We see a teifling ranger who approaches us. He signs tinas notebook Aster, and talks about her failing grade with micholangilo. Tina has to steal something. Look for Florin, the tabaxi, cheetah spots. Billy goes up to lamb He tries to get lunchmeat whom tina is holding. Tina just holds him tighter. Lamb does some integrity bit and Billy is like “I will just give you the money” and lamb saw Billy kick Anthony. He gives her the gold. Bird leads them to rogue class. The room is empty. You have to fight for the chairs. Monte cristo takes a long look at arilian and just sighs. Billy goes in first and gets a water balloon with hot pink paint on him. He grabs one and chucks it at tina. Tina gets painted in a bright yellow. Monte is so disappointed. Theres rafters in the rafters. High drow elf is here, tabaxi (flower cat) is here, and Anthony, and shawn. Billy tries to steal montes chair, which he is still sittng in. hes till sitting but in air. Billy sits in thumb taks. Billy pretends he notices nothing is wrong. Everyone else sees a solitary tear run down his face. Monte starts teaching. “we focus on espionage and stabbing ppl in the back.” “elf racist got his shit beat by a elf” “Type shit?” “the ranger teacher died!” “again?” “also there’s a dragon running around.” “Someone lost both their cocks” “someone blew up in the cafeteria” “anyone know about the stormcloaks?” He pulls out a pamphlet “oh you’re the racist!” You saw smell, yeah? It smells the same as the note he hands reese Talks abt stolen armor He opens a trap door under bird Rex says what’s the point of being a bird if no fly It’s a foam pit Scouting part of class We are all in a pit now. We have to get to the end of the passage and not get painted. There should be clerics down there, I think. Bird scouts ahead. Billy tries to throw tina. Billy gets covered in paint. Theres a suspioius trapped door at the end of the hall that is boulder shaped. What if we make a 5 by 5 hole in the boulder after it rolls down? Asrkin flies over and bird fails to shove him. Bird clings to his feet as he flies. Bird falls down on his ass and triggers the plate. Theres a minotaur. The minitour is named BOULDER! Hes very round. Arilian “billy suck on my arrow!” Bird gets gored by his horn and his shirt is ruined Boulder gets defeated. By bird! Bird is 4 years old We get to the end Theres a coffin at the end that rises up like Michael Jackson. He gets hit with two paint balloons during his monologue about how much he hates kids and his jaw hits the floor in shock.

DM: Boe Players: Wallace, Bark, Healer McGee, HW, Reese, Flane Familiars: Frank (Skeleton) We are in an underground city called Tres Leches. We need to get to the top layer, but its been blocked by the royals throwing a hissy fit. Wallace and Flane waste time in an armor shop and Flane goes first, then gets angry and leaves, and then Wallace wastes the guys time for 30 more minutes before abruptly leaving. Theres green street lights that calm you, and red ones that make you mad. But they aren’t red yet. Reese runs into a loan shark red dragonborn named Curian Curiosity, and he tries to scam Reese but he leaves before he can. Bark and Healer McGee get tricked by a tour guide gnome who charms them to be lost as part of his scam, then leads them to a “druid goblin tavern” and then tricks them into seeing the loan shark. Curian leads them to his basement and McGee asks to go to the bathroom, only to not notice the outhouse is a cage until he’s already trapped. Bark is quickly thrown into another cage afterwards. They try to get out, but can’t. Bark turns into a dragon to escape but cant because he’s too big and dumb. Another druid eventually saves him like “turn into a bug, stupid” Then the ground shakes meanwhile, opens up, and giant armies of rat people come flooding out onto the surface, some of which have knives for hands or are sniffing rocks and then getting more powerful. The rats speak into our minds “lets do the purge but violent!” The streetlights turn red, putting people into a rage, and Reese and Flane keep beating each other up while HW is the only one beating up any rats. Frank got killed immediately. Wallace has gone into a rat tunnel because he wants “whatever the hell drugs those guys are sniffin!” He sees two rats and leans against the wall like “hey. What’s up.” And the rats are like “enemy of enemy is alley” and they hire him. He doesn’t even ask who they want him to kill, he just blindly agrees. (there names are Ratclis and Ratacleese) They go into that human trafficking area that Bark and McGee have since escaped. They offer Wallace a ludicrous amount of money in exchange for the help of a surface dweller, and they want to skin the now tied up Curian. Wallace is like “sure ok, I’ll turn him into a hat-“ they already skinned Curian. And Wallace goes “ugh, I’m not carrying that and getting my shoes dirty!” so its left with the gold pile. Then Bark comes back with McGee, sees them, and the rats hire him too, and give him a pebble sized rock of drugs. Wallace looks offended. Bark eats it without hesitation before the rat can finish explaining its uses, and goes transparent and glows purple. Wallace is not jealous that he got drugs anymore. McGee heals him for 75 damage.

DM: Boe Players: Bark, Wallace, Kace (wild-magic war-forged barbarian), Reese, thumper snowball, Azure, Scarlet, Jasmire Familiars: Frank Bark is still translucent with blue glowing veins and it’s just after the attack. The lights go from red, back to green. We all hear rat screaming in our brains “NONONONONO human things supposed to die!” but Wallace and Bark don’t hear that. After a bit, war-forges begin to come down the streets, heavily armed, although some have cleaning supplies and body bags. Azure and Scarlet meanwhile, shelter in place. Surrounded by other civilians. Someone is trying to pickpocket them. It’s two kids. Caught red handed. Scarlet sets her hand on fire. The kid sees the fire and grabs 5 gold and dashes. (it’s the gulag gang) the kid just yells “you’ve just been robbed by the gulag gang!” The second kid robs Azure, and that kid runs and yells “and YOU’VE been robbed by the Commi gang!” guys lets go kill some kids. Then a human with glasses and lanyard, Karen, is like “I wish this place never opened its boarders so they can go back where they came from! We need to tear down the wall, how else will we get rid of all these undesirables!” One of the warforges has a spell book with spells on his shoulder. One guy has a shouvel hand for bodies, the other has mop hands. Theyre kinda short. Rumba warforged. They try to get Kace to report, and hes like “wrong guy.” “unit. Report.” “I don’t work here lady!!!” Helooks to thumper ‘citizen. Report…!’ Scottish accent “who the fuck are you?” Turns to reese “citizen. Report.” “they shot me. They had a rotery gun. There was a lot of them.” “where breach?” “from the ground” Hes RIGHT by the tunnels. “understood” marches down tunnel. They do start to clean up tho. The rats bodies. Loot them? Kace loots the nearest body. Thumper looks for the most well hidden body to loot. Kace finds a rat body. Gets a dagger, skin stinky fur pelt, and… a long gun. Its not a real gun. Thumper never checked if the rat was dead or not. rat doesn’t move. Wallace and bark are being led and cheered on by the rats meanwhile. Wallace and bark are discussing plans about the rat, Yo Mama. “yo mama will not win! We have have surface dwellers! They will kill yo mama!” Yo mama is tribe leader, clan head. Favored of the rat god. The rats go on to tell Bark and Wallace about how when they are handed over to Yo Mama, they will be tortured beyond imagination. Bark looks too happy to hear they will be experimented essentially. We will get allies tho. Bark wants to be carried. Wallice is loke “fine, get on my shoulders” Bark channeled primal magic to make teeth sharp so he could bite the knome. 21 damage. He dies on poison damage. We introduce ourselves and then go find our alleys in the lions glory. We find em fast. Hairless cat We hear a mechanical stomping around the bend as we leave the tunnel. Hairless cat jumps on shoulder Robots walk in Wallace pretends bob is his pet cat that he lost laser red, detector “you are in danger citizen” “oh my, I came down here for my lost cat!” Low, deep. “meow…..” “your cat is sick. Take it to the vet.” Runs out “yes sir!” If he has truesight and somehow they got through it. Bark stays as cat. Everyone is gathered towards the center. Bark jumps from Wallaces shoulder to kaces shoulder. Kace catches him by the throat. And helooks pitifully at kace. And he gets put back on wallaces shoulder. Kace sees through it. “I require oil. Meow. Feed me oil.” “im sorry john.” Reese looks at Wallace Reese asks about his hat. Those scales look familiar. NOT HIS HAT And bob “why did you run away?” “drugs.” Bob eats the blood The hat is like, flopping. Magical herpes. Thumper: put that on the ground (He shoot the hat with a gun.) Hitting the hat isn’t the issue. Dex throw. It explodes in his face. 6 damage. Broom shrapnel in his face. Bark evil cat laughs. He throws the broom gun on the floor. Theres a stone on the floor everyone is looking at. Bark pretends to sneak up to it, he bats at the stone likr a cat, before vatting itvtowards kace. It just rolls. He kicks the rock back at the cat. It cracks immediately. Cat got exploded a little. We gotta tell em about yo mama. Some kid then tugs on Wallaces pants to get his attention. “ugh! Disgusting! Whose mistake is this!?” He grabs the kid by the collar and tells him he’s lying. He intimidates the child. He stutters like “I’m looking for my my my my my my friend!” “you hesitated a little too long” Frank rolls insight Thumper is like “what’s his name?” “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Wallace can tell he’s lying but kinda. He’s being fed the info. “who do you work for” Shakes him again Bob stares into his soul Wallace asks for their groups imput Bob just jumps onto the kid. They agree to help. Wallace drops child Kace grabs kid Drops kid Grabs cat again “meow” The child takes us back into the pits. Child leash, rope, so he can lead us and not run away. “are you part of a gang?” “no but they’ve beaten me” “I cried. They called me weird” Child goes first. Bark transforms back into goblin self while kace is holding him. He just keeps going. He holds him and then drops him. We keep going. Thumper goes in front now. We come to 3 tunnels. Bark proposes he goes alone. He asks the kid what creatures are here. “oh shit theres rats here?!” He turns into a rat Goes into the narrow tunnel He crawls into a rat trap Its comically big He gets out Then trips on silver wire Succeeds Thumper goes down another tunnel Comes across a cavernous cavern Boss arena Comes across rat people. They are in the middle of am argument. 2 rats be dueling. Arguing about who should lead them. strong rat vs smart rat. Other rats chanting “fight fight fight!” Thumper comes back and reports his findings. Bark comes across fire and water. He eats the fire. He burned his mouth. So he drinks the water. They roofied the water??? cock rock. We go to battle, put the child in front. Meanwhile bark tries to get a shiny thing in the cave puddle water. The fire comes back too. He eats fire sgain. He moves on from fire. Mission imposable music plays Lots of attacks Wallace does fireball SmRT rat yells at us that “I am the bringer of your end!” Ground opens up and out comes a whole ton of rats (12 rats) Frank goes down immediately. But LIVES More battle Kace gets his legs dented. Kace rages. Hes now 14 feet tall Casts spell A flower blooms on his head. That’s it. He starts cleaving the rats into a fresh red Febreze “ah I love the smell of a fresh hat!” One rat self-destructs and cause a massive explosion Kace (robot) decides that self-destruction is hip with the kids. Casts 3rd level fireball centered on self. Thumper kills the main rat and they all die off as we kill them

DM: Boe Players: Bark, Wallace, Kace, Reese, thumper snowball, Azure, Scarlet, Jasmire, Shoshann, flane Familiars: Frank, Lou (dog) Were in the fourth circle of rat hell Quatro leshes is behind a waterfall in the cave Bark and Wallace must find yo mama. Given to us by raticus and raticlees Gun shots in distance Rat people infestation I cant hear you, its too dark down here In the north east corner we hear rocks shuffling and a dooor suspiciously opens and closes Kace is just a little wounded meanwhile Kace feels… puberty? Atop the cock roc, “guys somethings coming over/out of me” Mpreg? You begin to internailize your internals Open the hatch, shoshan comes out. Hes just like “who are you people?!” Kace: “fuck that’s where I put him! I been looking everywhere for him!” We all gathered around ccock rok One of the rats were fighting escapes us through thr door Thumper tries to open the door. Rocks fall on head. Kace kicks the door down immediately. Gee if only the two smallest ppl were rogues. Cave diving commences “smart rat runs, smart rat runs!” The tunnel leads to a cavern with water in it, or like, a lake with a rocky shore. Underground river with a dock. “where boat?!” Theres something shinny in river Hes aggressively flailing his arms and yelling “BOAT!” repeatedly Bark meanwhile finds BIG TEMPLE Bark climbs up fire stick to eat fire Nerves in mouth all burned Bark scitters up to the dwarven gaurds. Creation of ratom He gets crushed under a boot I will laugh “ratilly” at them. Gets attacked He bes not a rat anymore, is gob boy “yo fellas chill, crikey man!” The paladins be clanking through the way We all hear a really loud thunderclap coming through the caves (group in middle) Reese, flane, Wallace, frank, kace, jasmire, and shashann go to see what that sound was. Its bark! Rat bark! We all arive Bark rat bites one of the dwarfs Bark is a dragon now Kace drags him out, 20 feet away out of danger. Gwet stole Battle commences Meanwhile, thumper and scarlet and azure attack the rat The rat fights bak throw Bark is still dragon Kace casts “turn self to rock” Shoshan crawls back into the cave (cave) Rat bites dwarf Bark bites dwrf More damage Lesbian disability week??? Bark being attacked Ouch! Bark bites again “you guys killed our weakest dwarves, they were basically our office dogs!” Keep attcksnnig Smite?! No smite. 1, then 20?! SMITE! There will inly be head Mt ruhmore? And aribic? Your in public Gay Xanax? Charles the chking of khingland? Thumper, azure, and scarlet arrive down the hall Wallace casts Greece Hits self Falls and slips Dies Reese helps but falls prone too Lou bites ankles fail Flane kills the bad guy Wallace returns At the top of temple, gargantuan metal door. Barks special interest is dragons Theres a dragon sculpted onto the door, the dragon is a duragaur who slayed a black dragon single handedly and this door specifically was made to be the entrance to a fotress. This should not be here. The stone around the door is purposefully made to be fortified, but the stone is not from around this location. Its cultuarly significant This fortress used to be under siege and is scared. The door is brand new. We are getting lots of conjuration magic on the door Are any gods opposed to the door? This one specifically? We see above the door that theres an opening for a crossbow at the top for us to climb through. Bark is calling god on the phone (again) Ground shakes Stones fall in circle around us Dirt turns into statue “will we suffer harm if we go through that hole?” End

DM: Bo Players: Jadace, Frank, Granklen, Buk, Jearx, Elious, Endam, Rohan, chlorine Familiars: oakwan (endam), franks chawinga ms maple We are in kardynovol, on a cliff, we went to a bar, then went to a castle to get a seal of approval. We pprah, are approached by monty python, and attempted to jpin them and spray black water on our palidon. They offered us to sighn a contract and join the cult. He got charmed. The cultists are having a rave with alcahal and what not. did gundom style and we all went in. we investigated the castle and found there were people locked in thw dungeon. We saved mosto f the speakers and one was in the throne room. We saw a demon, and the speakee, saying that something something kill all of the town. We have acquired wat we need to get the seal we need. We are on our way to THAT mountain. It’s the main objective. We have to save the husband of the only gay guy in icewindale. We are on the road. We approach that mt and its negative 10 degrees. We see a more square area, so, civilization. The area is like a flattened. we see sus mounds. Dude in middle is playing violin. He is armored. Have we met or seen him before? Theres nothing under his helmet. Ghost??? Buk is sad gol is gone and is king of bats now. How do we keep gathering more ppl and buk doesn’t know howjearx suggests thwyre skin walkers Whois bitting who now??? Oh no the cspsatalists! The corperation was aeround long before aril was aluve. The vora corp was a bold magic mass production corp. We should kill the capatalists Buk insults chlorine I will eldritch blast the violin man Don’t we want to know why hes here? No, fireball! Hhe can speak in violin, “DESR GOD PLEASE” he has no head s no mouth? We need to talk first maybe He appears ti be playing different songs, its not repetitive. Wolf big lady with oaklan approaches him. We see 4 other similar things to the guy We see a copper ball with a window and a healthyb glow like a harth The guybstops playing violin, he has pistons that rise up and fall, still playing music. He wavs back. He has a piano in his back and is some sort of robot. He can speak He was given directive “WATCH” He watches the factory Dirty capaitalism! Is heca gohst? I am a clockwork soldier Hes nice Oakan Hes a gizmo!” “you guys I got a fuckn clanker over here!” Buk “is that a slur?” As jadace gets 10 feet from the factory, the music speeds up The fsctory is a solid black concrete block. Around the back we see a broken down area. The other robots are prone and snow covered Were all just ask dumb questions They are militaristic capaitalists Whos the guy wre looking for? The gay one. Seen any queers? One of them homosexuals? Oh no ehy is the pianoi plying so fast They’re homosexual haters I have not seen any gays but I have seen a flamboyant bisexual man He went up that mountain. He says “kelvins mt” Frank has 336 left to live Theres glowing blue liquid in the robot prone. Buk wants to drink the blue goo. ™ He called us organics and meat ags Hes a racist Flesh sacks The blue goo will melt our throat if we eat it Buk: that’s a good thing! We try o get ther robot to take orders We have to pretend to be their CEOs and capata;lists We keep asking the robot uestions. The fsctory makes more of him. Isthere people coming tovget em? No not for…. A long time. 3000 years. Jadace tells him about bad capaitalist ppl. Lets let frank the executive talk! The blue goo is liquid weave. I wanna hit pure magic! Frank tries to convince him hes a moriacorp ceo. Hes john johnson. Hes a decent of executives. If this fails, we turn him to communism. Searches database. Janitor. Database is out of date, they have been promoted actually, hes ceo. “I got promoted rom janitor to executive over the past 3000 years” What happened to the elf ceo? He fell into a pit asnd died. It was THAT pit. Oh. John johnson is doing humar. Ha. Ha. Buk: Can john jhonason clean inside the factory? Were all janitors Jearx is in charge of windex We get inside!!! First things first, do I see any yummy yummy blue liquid? We have free will! We walk in onto a catwalk. We see it goes to subterrianian territory. Its still a running. No. its pitch black. We light it up a little. There is mass pit grave of failed clockwork soldiers. We find a hole, 40 feet deep. Buk runs and jumps and sticks knife into wall. He does it!!! He fairly easily stabs it. He slides down. We use a spiderweb to get down Buk did a thing with that robot spider and he finds 16 oz. it’s a pint of blue goo™ Buk pulls out a power cord and finds blue goo™. Theres lots of shock absorption. He tries to open it. Fails. Tries to shotgun it. Nothing happens. The liquid complete evaporates and expands, enveloping him and tossing him. Its pure necrotic energy. He looks like he’s got every plague ever and is on the floor convulsing. Just groans of pain. We heard “tink……. Tink- BOOM” The giant robo spider has a boat on it, we can use it to get up the mt. buk gets revived. We can drive it, it has a cockpit Jearx wants to drive it You find pure poison Is it liquidy?.... Jadace goes to the office with buk to look for shiny things. He find a violin. Buk wants to mess with the computer on the wall. Jadace wants to subjugate the robots. Jadace finds a fire axe so he punches through glass to get it. More random stuff occurs Buk is still trying to drink blue goo™ Jadace is still trying to make robots bend to his will He sees something on Skynet. Jadace asks chlorine what a Skynet is. Skynet termanice is the code for backup plans in case the robots went rogue. Its just a bigger axe. Jadace wants to threaten that first robot to drive the spider for us. Were kidnapping Spyler the robot. It works. He stops playing violin. Endam wants to romance the robot spyler. Buk gets more blue goo™ for the trip. He tells him to make his access to info better and upgrade it. Frank tells him to. Spyler says the computer is broken. We need factory repair bots to fix things aeound here. There is a supply depot on the other side of the lake. We will go to that mt. Frank: jadace you said you had something tivtell me yesterday? I was at that partybi linda missed it. Jadace: frank: greatest bard I ever met! No offense jearx- Remember that super tight rave we were at? Hip and cool? Remember when they said to sign that little paper? Well that paper happened to be a legally binding contact that sold your soul to a demon. You have 323 hours left to live. Ending you will be dead and you will be sent to eternal torment in hell. The charm on frank wears off frank:…….oh my gosh guys! Im gonna die! Never let me drink again! We all try to convince him to romance the demon. Hell is hot! Granklen reads out some fine print of the contract. So long as frank is given the new life he was promised, he’s property of the demon prince as well as he will live his life in servitude to him. Buk: how is he going to die tho? Ice demon. Freeze to death and crumble. Were gonna go on a road trip to hell! To save Frank! We have to find the gay guy, steal his relic, to bring it back to a blacksmith, to tell us more about a magic exploded rock we have that became sentient with a mind flayer, to go find the shapeshifting murderer, to save icewindale! Bro is looking at no notes, there is three words on that page Are we doing this for no reason?! Are we going to keep going to THAT mt? Were doing this for nothing?! so the one gay in icewindale offered us soup? You didn’t even EAT THE SOUP?! Your doing this for soup?!?! Oh no mom and dad are fighting again Buk casts mind sliver on the rock or charm person. There were a lot of voices. Something about a mind flayer church. Are we there yet? Splyer: we have been here for the past 3 hours. Sorry frank!!! Weve been arguing for 3 hours. We are at the village karkon at the base of THAT mt. Frank: so are there any single hot dragons in the area? Are there gay ppl in the room with us? Are the gays in the room rn? Frank: can I ask levistus is there are any single hot dragons in the area? Sure roll religion. Frank: guys we should go north! We are in the town with the murderer. Buk: so frank, you want us to go to an icey ocean to see if you can fuck a dragon?! Frank: will I make it in time? Levistus: fuck if I know Frank begs levistus to care. Just a crumb hell daddy let me bone. A silver dragon born comes at us. Hes jittery. Torvis. The town speaker. Frank has a chance. A caravan is in town selling wares. Trog caravan. They have this whole plan to disguise to be a lady speaker to talk with torvis. Torvis: uhhhhhhh….. your voice is fucked up. Buk is screwing it up Torvis grabs the mask off Ah shit torvis knows what it is Jadace just stares at him

DM: Bo Players: Jadace, Frank, Granklen, Buk, Jearx, Elious, Endam, Rohan, chlorine Familiars: oakwan (endam), franks chawinga ms maple We are at karkong We got ambushed by the torvis, the town speaker. “well…. I guess it was her time. Anyway. What brings you here?” We go up the mt on the spider mech with spyler Tarvos yells at us but were too far to hear. We start to realize the sheer size of the mt. it’s a big mt. we see two small tents at the bottom. Theres a bunch of dogs attached to a downed sled. They are pinned to the ground under the sled. All the tall big ppl move it. Talk to animals just reveals “weneedtobefreedsaveus!” repeatedly They run around like “free freedom free free!” but one of their legs is broken. We heal him They call us some real ones and were part of the pack now then they run off to the nearest village We investigate the tents. Find a crate with a dog in it. Hes eating from it. We find a notebook with stuff from garret (gay guy) in it As se go up the mt, the weather gets worse and worse. Theres 4 mt goats. Chlorine talks to them and says “be warned…bah.” “there are predators up there!...bah.” “guys goats are stupid!” We get back in the spider and go higher still We come to a cliff ascent. The spider goes right up “time to go into four wheel drive” -spyler We see at the top of the cliff, we see a man lying face down in the snow barely conscious. “does he look gay?” Hes a combo of kronk and jace We found our guy! He has no equipment or nothing. frank cures his wounds. He wakes up! “I need you all to introduce and describe your faces- who are you guys?!” jadace “your husband sent us” “whats his name?!” “what’s my name?!” “ur one of them queers aren’t u?! I can tell by the ay u fell!” Jadace immediately starts reading his mind to find magic relic There is not a single useful idea in his head. “I was with monkinggo, he needed something. There were two guys” “there was someone chasing us! Kinda humanish” “its gotta be the murderer!” Jadace “the murderer stole the relic then!” Theres 1 extra set of footprints going up the mt, and the murderer might be up there. “well the guy would attack you and then disappear!” -garret We go higher up. We come to a cave entrance with blood around it. Are we fighting the grinch?! Go into the cave, 80-foot-deep hole in the middle, lots of bones and books and we see seven severed heads, some goats, and armor and axes. Trophies. We see a green moss creature. The grinch?! “they mock me down there! They sing and share! It’s a lie that melts! Blah blah blah monologue monologue!” bro rhymes and rhymes forever Jadace casts hiddious laugher but it doesn’t do much at all and we attack Oakan owner bites her in the neck bc she swings up and slices his face with an axe “please let this stinky man have a dragon, PLEASE!” Frank kills him and he rhymes his last rhyme Theres one I in team but five I’s in “fuck it, I cast fireball!” No theres not “I would like to harvest the grinch” “granklen, hes very unsanitary!” -jadace He finds scp 999 (little gloop baby) Jadace scoops up goop ”welcome to communism” We retroactively saved Christmas bc he was gonna steal it We gotta take that bisexual hoime We continue onwards Look out for seeds that glow like the sun, look out for those for frank Two hours later, we reach the top. We find a man. Standing over a teifling. With a sword. Garret says that’s one of the people he was with. She gets stabbed and the guy kills her. “ah! Garret! I meant to kill you!” He is a humanoid rn. Looks like silco. “corrupted daddy right there” “would, next question” 6’1 height Jearx gets pushed up front Everyone is feinding for this man Were trying to rizz him Jadace gets stabbed There twins! Theres 2! We can share! Massivw W” “you take 23 points of damage” “you get to take both of them at the same time!!!” I have to ask him out on a double date my fellow changling

DM: Bo Players: Familiars: oysterboi the rat Fat monopoly man approaches us He tells us we need to be in the tent Marin, jester. Fishtick, acrobat. Emerus, acrobat. Nox, cat tamer. Marmus mimus the mime, (cries). Billy, jester, insukts crowd. Podcast guy. Monopoly man is racuist too. Loves the podcast. Wallace, firebreather. Elf, acrobat. Howardringly, kuma, bear tamer. “are you ok if we stick him in a 3 by 3 cage and feed him one pocorn a day?”. Mime. We are late, show starts in ten minutes. We are left unattended. Something falls from his pocket. As we walk, we see the stalls and etc. thres a fortune teller. Shes rguing over payment. We see a jester in red and white stripes, and a bigger uman talking to other preformers. Its very secretive. We see a bugbear escorting drumk ppl away. We fight the drunk ppl? I cast fireball! The guy whi ismt paying his bill at the fortune teller is… a drow. He is lanky, lots of percings. “you human make such simple errors. Your fortune says I will go bald nut I am an elf! I am superior! Clearly yourvwrong!” “hes racist, your justified billy” Billy walks over, slings his arm around him. “your far from home, what brings u here?” “well I’m pretty sure your supposed to respect women bc its part of drow lore” he fucking dies. “where is his handler?” Pokes with foot The fortune teller robes the body Billy takes the rest She gives them a discount and reads billys fortune. He gets a reverse tower card. Endless restlessness and collapse awaits you. This is before the shipwreck. One of the drunks escapes and waves to mimus. He is running in place. The bear drags him over. A drunk runs at the bear. Fishstick the goliath grabs the drunk by the head and hauls him off. Toddler leash. The bugbears names and hurly and burly. He offers a book to fishstick and goes “its like my teacher always said, if I can learn, anyone can learn!” Billy drags the elf corpse off with everyone when they all go to the bigtop circus. The bugbears toss the drunks thousands of feet off the edge of the circus into the abyss. “who wants to start a workers union against the carnival? A clown union!” As we enter the tent, we see alaster (not that one) human male and human lady are fighting. “it was a small joke, you are blowing this out of proportion!!! I only dyed your hir! The crowd liked it!” “I need red!” “oh you men don’t understand color!” “brown is unsaturated orange” -emerus “No no no no no no” “this is why…. He broke up with you!” “you little homewrecking hussie!” “woah woah!!!!” Some other guy comes in and tells us to do our jobs. “Jesters, be funny! Magicians? Follow up jesters! Acrobats!” “You can cut me in half if you want.” “we had to hire new ppl bc our daughter went sailing with pirates!” Miners??? Magiscians discussing acts and etc Billy still has the body. A goliath man comes over and hes like “mate, what ya goanna do with that? “you goanna eat it?” “do you have a record we should know about?” “you could do a ventriloquist act with it?” “ok so scaring the children is encouraged!” “you cant strip naked” “damnit!” The jesters go out. The crowd cheers for the clowns. Billy does flips as he enters and stumbles, marin juggles. Mimus runs face first into invisible wall and falls flat on back. Someone yells out “you only improve when you leave the stage!” billy sees the most snobbish high elf ever. “well now, we have a comedian! Care to introduce yourself!” “you sir are not a fool by trade! You are a fool by birthright!” “jeez those are harsh words coming form someone of ur condition.” “lets talk about your dress. You dress like satire but your just employed and unfunny” “I did have the misfortune of sleeping with ur mother” “did a goose sneeze into ur skull?” “what does that even mean?!” mimus plays a laughtack. The elf starts laughing and billy goes “I think I hear ur mother” “I am the magic partitioner of magic!” “I thought you would be more impressive” “you are a cautionary tale against necrophilia!” “well your mother laid like she was dead” the acrobats are up. On each others shoulders. They do illusion stuff. Someone pants someone else (I think?) frank is looking for heckler. “I need someone to participate in my act” pants the fairy! “look in this mirror” -frank He flies down to him. He dimension doors the fairy into the rafters. Animal handlers are next. And Wallace. Flips and shit Handstands on bear. Does flip. Wallace and Nox comes out. Walalce does fire tricks and nox uses fire to set whip on fire. She has lots of big kitty cats. Crowd cheers btu cut short. A big voice projects “ladies and gentlemen, give it up! But all these performances have been too easy! Lets up the difficulty! Brought you by blah blah blah” We hear chains rattle And cages come up The three animal handlers are still out. A catlike creature with six legs comes out. We fite it Gooney game? We turned the monstwer into ice We get ushered out of the arena The air genasi do some acrobatics and stuff. Its all perfect. There is no flaws. Until… a voice comes back “come on, drop!!! I’ve seen stronger bonds in overcooked spaghetti!” The husband drops his wife and they slip and fall. Pulse also falls. Everything goes all wrong and pulse gets caught. The air genasi disperse and like, die. Oh no tragic backstory!!! Crowrd is quiet Zephran (headmaster) comes out. Clears throat. He says the show is over. No refunds. Everyone gets kicked out, pending investigation. Argumwent between billy and mimus Lady from earlier gets us back to our tents. Orgy….? Warlock orgy?... We all go to bed. We are awoken the next morning by screams. Alastor is screaming at the lady from earlier. “what ur saying is ur the only one who went in there last night and im not supposed to suspect you?!” “no I didn’t!” “I saw you” “I was with ur mother” “your mother is….” “say it” “your mother is fucking insane!” “I know what you were doing in there, I see it on ur neck!” “there is a spell called diaguise self” -ash Lady is a vampire??? Did oakan drug her??? “wjo said it was a drink? It wasn’t a drink I druggd her. A little prick.” zephron is deasd btw. Died smiling. “the jonkler?” he has a tarot card stapled to his back.

DM: Bo and abby Players: same Familiars: oysterboi the rat We were surprise DEI hires We are now conducting our own investigation to the ring masters trailer. He is still dead in there. Titus casts “speak with dead” on his body. There is no soul for him to speak with. “I know how to contact other planes, can I contact Satan?” sure “did the spirit of a ring master come down here?” “no.” “he’s in purgatory, he’ll be there for 3 to 4 business days” Oh shit the jonkler! Bros the joker now He has a tarot card on his back. He must be in heaven! The card is the hierophant. Billy checks a nearby mirror for his soul. He sees an elf in the mirror. The mirror is a silly mirror. Oli find 3 sets of footprints. Franks trying to figure out why hes soulless. The soul was ripped out. Theres chunks left. We find a bag of pixiedust. Some of the footrprints are followed and it shows two sets of footprints following . but ones just a trail though. The corpse may have a weapon. The other set had a lighter step. Fairy hooker??? There is no butler. The cause of death was asfixiation. Billy “do I remember what the chicks feet look like?” do you know what they look like? “yes.” Succubus? He knows that the feet are primas, the lady arguing earlier. We further investigate the trailer, we think maybe it was the fortune teller, miss mary. But a bracelet we find is primas. “welcome to joe shmoes emporium!” “you work here, right?” “…..no.” Billy invites him to podcast. He sets up equipment. “first question. Whats ur opinion on the drow and dward conflict?” “the fucks a dwarf?” “any short people around?” “no sounds ugly. Want a hot dog?” “how do you feel about murder?” that hot dog is bad. Titus: “can you find me the nearest fairy?” he points it over there Billy takes 38 points of necrotic damage. From the dawg. Whats the viewship number? Seven. “I heard that sowrd guy, heard he can suck the soul outta anyone!” “and where is he???” “so about that sword swallower. Does he just do swords?” mimus breaks his silence to ask. Hurly and burly teach oli to read meanwhile. They’re sleeping soon tho bc they had to do night watch. They’ve had to deal with 3 deaths and worked 72 hours. They try to get them to talk about what they’ve seen and such. We have to track down the sword swallower. Wallalce is a suspect Billy and howard ringly are looking for foretune teller mary. Billy gets a book of instructions on show to work the tarot cards. Ringly finds another deck of tarot cards, all are accounted for. The others find prima sitting outside her trailer. Billy just goes “show your feet” She casts fireball Prima and frank start arguing She is not lying about where she was. Prima got roofied by oakan. Primas mom is madam Mary. The ringmaster is her bf! But he’s been cheating! Prima: whyd you charm me? Frak: I suspected you of murder. Real Walmart owns whichtlight carnaval? The others come across the pixies. The pixies immediately complement them. “do you knoe what murder is?” “no” “well its like… bleh!” “oh! We don’t remember much here!” “…..hello!” there is an intelligence behind their eyes. They are faking it. Oakan asks for their leader. They aid alistor broke up with him over someone else. Prima and al and zeph had some weird triange goin on. And pixie dust is our shit! Meanwhile…. Billy knocks on madam marys door “your daughter was drugged earlier. Did you hear about that? You look good by the way.” “WHAT?!” “where is my daughter?!” she pulls out a huge sword sword after she hears her daughter is being interrogated and says she “just has to talk to them.” Billy minor illusions a tarat card and says “you mist have dropped this bc your dripping with femanane power” she marches off higher and more confident. Madam mary yells “PRIMAAAA!!!!” “get out here right now!” At first shes mad but then she relizes she was roofied and goes “prima are you ok?!” “yeah.” “where were you last night?” “idk” “wjo were you with?” “well I came back here.” “well I heard you were roofied” “I was? I was wit the new ppl” She locks onto billy. Billy does not mention that he used magic to let him see people’s feet bc “I used to hunt…. Game. Animals.” Shes mad. “which one of you was with my daughter tonight?!” Billy: anyone here got zone of truth? Oakan accidentally outs themselves and blames racism and billy tells them to “cherish that feeling!” “how about you question the guy who knows your daughters foot size?!” Madam mary tells billy to stay away from her family Oli and mary have a convo They start asking about alistor And other various questions We have our next performance in 5 minutes We find alistor sword practicing. Billy gives titus money bc hes a poor child and feels bad Frank casts a spell on alistor. Hes charmed. “where were you last night?” He says prima was outside the ring leaders trailer last night. They were dancing. The horizontal tango? The same dance they used to do! (actual dancing) Soul sucking fairy queen? Are we the bad guys? Titus casts a spall on billy them ends it immediately “F’s in the chat!” Alistor is asked if they have a fairy queen around here “its more of a witch queen than a fairy queen?” “where is she?” “we dunno” but they do know she LOVES to heckle ppl. Oh damn! Ok so when we preform tonight we got to make sure she heckles billy the most!!! “now I have to play hard to get” but im a simp!” Its billys turn immediately along with the other clowns “our job is to rage bait her!” “im the master baiter!” Billy looks for someone easy to mock, mainly elf. Looks tova little gemlin “what the fuck are you?!” oh no that’s a child. “im an elf child” “theres some half orc in there I think” “what sur mom do for a living? “pillaging!” “is that how she got your father?!” “I bet he disappeared. but I like this guy too much, come down and join us! Alright kid. Pick out the dumbest looking person you can find.” He picks billy immediately He keeps mocking billy In this instance, all of the magic in the room is flowing around this child. Ah. Jeez. Hes the heckler. I slap the child. The whole tent is shaking and the ground splits open. The child disappears. A scream is heard. Theres monsters that might impregnate us?!?!?!?! Smash! The 3 clowns take damage as they are knee deep in the riff. They get violently pulled down. The others are trying to summon a whale. Mimus memus immediately goes “OH SHIT” and runs for the stands. Billy casts banishment on two of the frog monsters. Marrin also left a long time ago.

DM: Winn and abby Players: same Familiars: oysterboi the rat Billy died to the void Bro died Mimus ran away Battle happened.

DM: Bo Players: Jadace, Frank, Jearx, Elious, Endam, Rohan, chlorine Familiars: oakwan (endam), franks chawinga ms maple We are at the top of that mt, we doomemd a town by making a deal with levistus, and consent is optional in this party. We still have to find the artifact for targoes. Endam is on ground diying and bleeding out. We are in comat Frank touches him Fight ensues Frank knocks one guy out by hitting him with his lute They just start harassing the two guys “just because im a murderer doesn’t mean I don’t have standards! Stop hitting on me!” They are both knocked out, yipee we won! They tied them up The murderers wake up and the two are like “helllooooo boys!” They want to vonstantly cast suggestion on them to make them marry them They make a plan to get married and the drag? They come up with plans to keep the men from teleporting away “can we bury them?” “can we danfle them off a cliff?” “ciuld we gentley break their bones” They will blind fold them, bury them, and guard them? “how long will it take for them to regenerate their eyeballs?” He calls them freaks “I don’t lie, im a murderer” Nightfalls We see a big lightning bolt in town and then a red blizzard starts. Ruh roe We all hear levistus evil laugh Frank: “you hear him too? You hear my voices?” Nothing eventful truly happens but the storm never subsides. The two brothers keep mocking the goliaths and call them dumb “brother we still have each other” Did we forget they were insestuapous? Frank: why don’t you give the two goliaths a chance? You can still be insestuous. Frank calls levistus “stud” Lesvistud They kill their husbands New goal: get frank married to a dragon (or levistus) Were going back into town We go back to kerokon In the center, stands the dragonborn who was the leader of the village. God damn he wants to fight us bc we have doomed the ten towns “you have killed A TOWN!” Oh no we killed kids? “its been two weeks already?!” The guy is just like “fight me or die a coward!” Spyler drives the robo spider over to the guy and we fall into a big hole in the ground. “jadace, what happene at that warlock orgy?” -frank

DM: Bo Players: Jadace, Frank, Jearx, Elious, Endam, Rohan, chlorine We fall into the hole The drsgon guy is yelling at Russian one We call for a fair trial for her with a jury He assighns us an advisor and frank chats with livistus and hes like “you shouldn’t trust her. She works for livistud.” She saw what happened to her and torvis,s friend. She sold her soul to do it. “are you sure it had nothing to do with power?” “would have been nice to use iton you. Areny tou also a warlock of his?” “im a victim” Our trial (he doesn’t wanna kill us anymore) is we have to go to the town we fucked up. We have to go to the disco beholder town (cult guys) We have to drop the gay guy off to his husband Frank gives away everything in his inventory to a salemen for a scroll of fireball The guy is like “give me ur cloths and you can have it free” This dragon just wants him naked Hes just like getting scammed now Over and over Now- we can go on our way. We have our spider mech back. We are headed right for a tornado. The cultist are STILL raving The crossroads we come across leads into the wastelands OR that caravan we keep zeeing. They don’t want us to pass like “I have never seen tarvis so mad” “he let us go on the condition we fix that” Apparently theres a demon knig and some minions and imps there. We can destroy the pentagrams? Maybe they will go away? We have to enter town somehow Jearx decides were going to the wall side, to enter town. We all get body gaurds (Flatson and Widen are my ugly gaurds) Frank has an idea He will talk to the lutenetr. He actually is a knight of the black sword now. Its not cold inside the blizzard now and levistus protected us bc frank sent sad hampter pics. We see in the town. That there are multiple patrols. Imps are rarely seen, but are mostly gone. We see humanoids. Ice creatures snow monsters and etc. we also see little ghostly creatures moving around. We see 4 teams total. We see a wide open door, waiting for us. And our army. We see this big ice blue guy. We meet again. We have a gift for lavistus. Frank negotiates. Russian lady needs that thing hes trying to give away. The guy needs the relic, and something equal to levistus to replace him so he can comeup from the 9 hells. Chlorine: wait why do u wanna do that? Bc leistus is trapped in hell and he wants out? Russian tries to negotiate We have not given them the sun seed yet. Russian lady connects mentally to hikm “do not tell them that!!!” Russian: So if we give you the seed you wont leave? You would expand the storm? Can you start your expansion in this one specific town? Theyre like so annoying, you should take karakong next. Perfect! Problem solved! Yeah but we die either way. Everyone just agrees. The ENTIRE party is like “yeah give em the seed” Frank gains 10 hours to his life and levels up. Since were business partners you wonna take a deal with livistus to sell your soul? Chlorine: well im old and will die anyways. We have aided a demon monarch into taking over an entire continent. The chawinga dies! Noooo! The gaurds notice something is wrong. 6 of them die. They fight us now, we have betrayed them. We defeat them Tarvos has sent out ppl to tell all the other towns to tell them of us. We are evil now. Lets just… not go to other towns… Frank is now a valuable asset and isn’t diying anymore!!! And we can steal now and its ok to loot and rob bc we evil now! We have wanted posters and everyone in the ten towns knows us as terrorists. The first chapter of icewendale closes with the ten towns being hostile towards us. Something moves under the sea of ice and the machines at the corp wake up….

DM: Boe Players: Arskin, Billy, Rex, Arilian, HW, Reese, Tina, Bird Pets: Lunch Meat (chicken), Frank (tarantula) The litch, benjimin, was inturreupted by arskin and bird “god I hate kids” and combat began. We corner him and billy is like “give us something we want” “I have bitches?” “we don’t want dead bitches” “kill him, hes a pedo!” “nono!” “I have vampires” “nono hes not into that yet!” “I have a vampire goth mommy” We go back and forth Tina kills him We go back to the class and cristo jolts awake. Its only been about 30 min. Bily: Do you know any goth mommys, professor? No. Rys is talking abt how hes a drow and knows some goth mommies Cristo pats his shoulfer “mind if I meet your family” arskin does it too ans billy goes “how about a sleepover after school?” “calling cps on my mom will break my oath” -rys Class ends, we get an A. we go to the next thing. We see jimmy and timmy, the fairy and ogor. We see tavien, the high hoidy toidy elf. Its time for clubs. Tina and billy argue over lunch meat We see lots of posters for the clubs. Im too busy looking st the bathroom sighn bc I cant read. I wanna join that club. The ogor who origannaly owned lunch meat goes up to tina and asks for lunch meat back. Lamb is still in hell. Billy wants to get her flowers and a weapon. A boque of daggers. Tina goes over to the mean elf and shes like “you look kinda wealthy, what club are u a part of?” “only the finest monster hunter club.” Billy also chats with him and asks him if he knows any rich women. Sugar mommy? No Tina tries to punch him and billy gets in the way bc he gave him 70 gold. Tina “poor ppl are so easy to please” “your right but what the hell!” They all go into the raftors of the teachers meeting to spy and rex waits outside with lunch meat. The alchemy teacher lashes out at cristo over his stolen armor and cristo sees us in the rafters but we just do stupid shit and he doesn’t tell others. The automaton says that the black veil or smth is a cult on the loose. Its black covenant The 3 main suspects we are to look for, are a yawntee, a teifling, and a goliath. The high bard teacher racially profiles another teacher from the cult area. But he gives good advice. We go to an empty classroom to discuss. “so…. Theres a terrorist group.” We talk abt big booty Latinas and then cristo comes in and asks us our plan Apparently they draw pentagrams We send billy as bait to infiltrate the terrorists! Yeah but he might join them tho… We see a bugbear named Gloin. We ask him if hes gay. As he approaches he has a ax and a red stain on his hand. Dawg hes so the terrorist. Billy hands him a paphlit for the stormcloaks. Tina gives him a pyramid scheme one.

DM: abby Players: wacky chang, julian legarre, Wallace, fin, john T(tuberculosis) diabetes, crackula, wilmar Walmart We in jail We are in a dark room with torches and there are guards and we are freshly arrested. Guards are goblins who are not being gentle apparently. This is just a holding cell. we been under bags for weeks, we are on an island in the middle of the ocean. A secret island?! The files! Two exits, heavily guarded. Table in middle, full of weapons. We have nothing but clothes. We are not restrained yet. We are in an anti magic. We will not be revolting. Wacky and Julian immediately start a gang What are we all in for? My stray fireball hit an orphanage. They abducted me from being legal. I was looking for the fated Walmart. Murder. Shoplifting. Immigrant. disturbing the peace and inciting a riot. Recording the goblins getting the immigrant. They just kinda grabbed us and the goblins have immunity and they are TOTALLY trained trust us We all been chained up. The guards tell us to grab some weapons and they put us by the door. We are brought down a hallway and brought into a giant arena. There is no sunlight, we are in a cavern. Lots of blood and vertical walls We are being watched from seats above We have to fight other prisoners Our cuffs just drop They announce we gotta fight these guys They look really tired tho Julian hides behund swacky and stabs someone in sneak attacks 45 pickle The sorcerer killed himself with ice by mistake and one guy got slapped to death Are we winning? Wacky chang kicks a guy in the dick to death Last wizard gets upper cutted and died We win! After battle we escort?????ed back to our rooms/cells we separated by race??? Species Julian (bird) will go insane by himself

DM: Winn Players: arum the cowboy sea elf, flanne the half giant, big guy, morsalt the barbarian warforged, dragon born paladin named David, drunk barbarian man named Mr. kyristal (substance user), billy silly willy of house silly willy monk ranger with 2000 pounds of wheat with him, rex, archer the paladin, arakokra paladin named fred. We are all in a massive carriage We were hired by von. His brother is the mayer of some town and he hs gone mad. Hes crazy. He has decided to assist his bro and take over as mayer. Our job is to help, and find out what happening in that town. The drunk is an elf racist. Back to back everyone is so heavy. Everyone is in full armor. This poor horse. The carriage is now a low rider 7 days travel of this five mile stretch. The horse has made 3 steps in the past hour. After a long, long, LONG journey, we finally get to… a foggy city called driftmore. Its in a bad state. Von steps passed the dead horse towards the estate, like “there. My home.” We all join in the buriel rite for the horse as von walks down the road. We will never forget horsthomamu. Von watches like “I may have messed up” We walk through the town after von, to the estate. He knocks on the door and then goes in anyway bc its his house. “brother?! Where are u?!” we come in behind him and the floorboards get damaged. Everyone is ducking through the door. A maid (imota) hears the commotion like “who are all of u?” “oh, master von, your brother is dead.” A sarcastic “oh no!” from von The cleric goes up and pokes the body and then makes sure he’s dead. We all have to figure out how he died. The room is destroyed. On the middle of the floor is his body. We find a shovel that’s been buried under all the shit hes tossed around with dirt still on it. Something is magically wrong with him, something magic happened. Morsalt, Krystal, and David go to follow von, who is uninterested in his brothers death and immediately went to go see about the mayor job. They go up the maid like “we just wanna talk to him” and they push past and go to see him. Immediately David casts zone of truth. Von resists. He stands up like “what are ya doin” And David is just like “so did ya do it” “no” etc. “you shouldn’t be scared if you have nothing to hide” “uhh…” etc “I do it for the love of the game” “im not liking this game” “I am” Meanwhile, everyone else goes to the garden with the shovel and with flanne. Lots of hedges and plants and stuff, lots of garden beds and flowers. We are looking for disturbed land. There are one set of footprints that are fresh, going towards the weeping willow. We find two old headstones for Yohan and anison von, the parents. Yikes. Lets dig up the grave. Back to David…. Sense good and evil. Oh man. Von is SUPER EVIL. He fails the lie check. “where u jealous of ur beother?” “and how did tht make u feel?” “did u pay someone to kill ur brother” “yeah I might.” “are you gay?” He’s a homosexual. “how many ppl did u hire?” “8.” “wait a second….” David walks out then inqures about the main jannet. Back to the garden… were at 6 feet, still have not found it. Are these graves empty? Detect magic, there has been necromancy in this grave. Can I ask about blood? I have “purify food or drink” h u h Back to jannet…. Kyristal goes in, then David, then other guy stands guard. They start questioning. “hello jannet!!!” “so who killed him?” “who in the town can do magic? Got any wizards?” ‘we have a church of tear” “close enough” The rest of the group comes back inside and we meet up to talk. Lets go harass the church We go to the church. Its been getting darker. Are there girlscout cookies outside? We all just walk into the church. I cast fireball!- “FIREBALL!!!” Half the people in church panic and the others don’t react. Well, we have narrowed it down. We know who knows magic and who doesn’t. we completely ruin the service. “who are you people?!” “the mayor is dead” “uhhh…” “can anyone here do magic?” “I cast detect good and evil.” Rex plays a calming banjo song Now were starting over. The mayor died of maigc. Theres also necromancy in the backyard. The lady turns around “they are obviously troubled and ill” then she brings us somewhere else. Evening mass is cancelled. The annoying 3 all stand around her in a circle. We explain what happened. “you cant go into a crowded space and yell fireball!” She takes us to the graveyard by the church and the garves are old. She says its just her that works at the church. We search through the graveyard. We see a grave that someone tries to dig up with their hands. Theres something happening here in this town. Enchsntments are found and stuff So we go to the blacksmith AND the painter. Painters family is druids. Most of the lights are out. We knock. “go away!!!” We knock again. “go away” we punch the door down. “HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!!” he runs upstairs. We unlock the door and go in but we explode it. Fernne goes up after him like “sir! Sir!” rex and gun slinger cowboy stay downstairs. Ah jeez He locks himself and his kid in his room and hides in his room “take anything you want!” “don t hurt us” “we just wanna talk to ya about our lord and savior, tear!” “what?!?!?!” “we can talk to u peacefully or we can force you to talk peacefully” “fine I will talk” “do u swear upon tears grace? “uhh….. yeah.” ‘we have some questions regarding the mayors death…” “someone has been trying to dig up your dads grave” He brings the kid over to question him. The child has been casting necromancy??? Hes been having nightmares and cant sleep. “we have to hunt the monster in ur dreams” “im hunted?!?!?!” Aracokra grabs ones of the kids toys and casts “light” on it to make the kid feel better. “here, it will make you feel better” “caw!” Something bad is defiantly happening with this kid.

DM: winn Players: Archer the elf paladin, rex, billy silly willy the human monk ranger, sergae wild magic barbarian, marsalt warforged barbarian, big guy, arum. We are still in driftmoore, its still dark, the painters house has been broken into and their kid is having night terrors. Billy silly willy, nig guy, sergae, and marsalt head to the blacksmith. A ton of different locks are heard opening but he eventually the warofrged is like “we wanna talk about your dead wife” Big guy puts it more eloquently the guy lets them inside to chat “your mayor is dead and we are here to investigate” He heard we killed a horse and we buried it “yeah that was us” “so how did ur wife die?” “she got sick” He been dreaming about her recently (oooh spooky!!!!) He leaves and takes his sword with him and then they all leave and he locks all the locks again. He also puts a chair under the door to keep this “necromancer” out. We all meet up back at the church. We knock and the lady opens the door (elenora) for us. We tell the lady about the dead people dreams and the dirt under their fingernails. We do stay at the church for the night but meanwhile we keep talking to elenora. She says the previous priest left. We all sleep on the floor. Rex and sergae have…. Nightmares. Sergae hears a voice. His father. From outside. Calling to him. He failed his wisom save so he goes. Rex hears bessy, his mom, and he goes too. Rex and sergae rush out of the church. We sprint into the night. The warforged boots back up from sleep and billy silly (mr willy) gets roughly shaken awake. “rex and sergae ran off!!!” and he runs away. “huh?” he wakes up everyone else. Meanwhile, the two who snuck into the priests office find… some stuff? “theyre gone!!!” We both roll again, roll low, we still hear the voices and we figure out, its coming from… underneath you…. We start clawing at the dirt to try and get them out. We hear a loud-ass bell. Oh god. Oh no. The warforged finds rex and sergae asleep on the ground. He puts them both over his shoulder (somehow) We both wake up. We just went to bed in the church. Why are we being dragged? “hey this is where we buried horsthomamu” Big guy casts detect magic on us as we get back and he sees some residual magic around us and such. Oh no the horse corpse is gone! “detect magic object” “horse corpse” The body is… on the move. We hear the click clack of the horse. Oh god. Archer and armun are still in the church, big guy follows the horse, sergae goes to the church to get them, and everyone else also follows the horse. Oh no we lost the signal!!! But its there. We find a old bell tower where we lost the horses signal. I hear the bell toll and ring. Rex starts sprinting down the road. Robot tackles rex but rex says “nuh uh” The rest of the party arrive. Oh no, rex gets further! Archer tries to shoot rex but cant do it, so the robot throws two axes and one hits him in the BACK! rex snaps out of his trance like “OW!!!” Archer heals him. Rex remembers that when he was digging earlier, and he just needed to get to something. We get closer to the bell tower. Its in disrepair and disuse. Its been abandoned. Theres a note on the door. An old one. It’s a warning sign and tells us to look for the priest. People who are immune to the spell go in first. They break the door down and go in. its totally silent. Like they cant hear ANYTHING in front or behind them. Archer rolls for magic and there’s a silence spell. Archer, big guy, and robot go up the old steps of the bell tower. Archer gets to the bell, and sees a hunched over old man. He is wearing robes of the church of tear. They finally approach the man and poke him on the back. His hands are clasped in prayer. Maybe its that priest that went missing? “we can sew his mouth shut” “I can shoot him in the head” “I can push him off” “choke him out” “break his jaw” “I have an axe” “I can pistol whip him” “how bout stuffing a sock in his mouth” What if we just…. Move him? They pistol whip him. They can hear again. The bell tolls again. Robot tries to grab the bell and hold it. Rust goes to his limbs. The old man is like “you need to go, I don’t have much time left, I’m the priest” The bell stops and glows sickly green. The runes glow a bight green. It gets brighter and brighter. Big guy shoots a divine smite at it. Explosion. The bell launches out of the tower. And it lands like a hundred feet away from the three on the ground. We see a baddie on the bell. An evil baddie. She summons dead people and our poor horse too fight us. Sergae rages and the wild magic makes everyone in town hear the fight narrated like a sports announcer

DM: Boe Players: Rasarose the mewing dawn paladin drawgonborn whose shredded, Sensai Woo the hald elf cleric, Drake Gunn the tebaxi rogue with black fur and green eyes, Milon the barbarian whose dressed like a wizard, Tina, Rhys, Rex, The lion’s glory has sent us to the library to get mystery item. Secret item. The krabby patty formula The library is a former coliseum. Made of marble and such. A centaur is working at the table in the middle. Lots of people are around. One player walks up to an old man and throws him aside. He’s like 100+ but something is off. “hello young man, fuck off please” “your bulkiness impresses me” Conversation stuff. “I wish to look for a book that explains the relationship between gym gains and weave gains” This poor overworked centaur “what the fuck is the mewing-dawn?!” Tebaxi moves to a bookshelf with an orc and finds the kids section. The poor orc is trying to read amelia badilia. He tries to burn the book in his hands while mogging. The orc pulls the book away. “what are you doin?” “fun things” “but… you do not contribute to world by burning stuff” “but if you burn, you learn about ash and destruction” “but volcanos?” “no” Tebaxi finally leaves The orc looks so happy Rhys ask about books on necromancy from the centaur “we got basic to necromancy smut” “I’m looking for something on the skeleton I rose” “zombie?” “nah” The mewing guy and the old man are having a mew off The mewing guy is losing Ryhs finds necromancy smut in the library “this might have forbidden knowledge” “set this on fire” It unleashes some unholy monstrosity It was an illusion! The book was a fake! “wait maybe I can get a frank after all!” One skeleton “Micheal Jackson” is under Rhys’s control They in battle now Poor furry cat man Tina runs over to help Milon runs over and plays a skeleton like a xylophone It works??? And then he enters a rage Rex walks up to the centaur and just asks for the secret book bc he needs assistance in a library The stairs are on strike and the book for the Lion’s glory is on the second floor All we had to do was ask The stairs are possessed Barbie girl or walking on sunshine Mewing summons loaf cat (orange) the steed. Like a horse “oh great heavens!” Micheal Jackson is singing “beat it” during battle We defeated the skeleton puzzle, yay! Rhys gives the book to Milon who is also illiterate and still raging Woo tries to take it but can’t “go fuck yourself” foaming at the mouth they give the book to Michael Jackson and he reads it his jaw opens and he says “HEE HEE” he can’t say anything but song lyrics tina wants to fight buff wizard why does sensei woo have 7 pounds of oil why do we all have pounds and pounds of oil and tinderboxes the loaf cat moves in front of the stairs mew paladin walks his way up the stairs it lets him up tina jumps up the stairs not yet mew man enters dark room “Michael Jackson, moon walk up these stairs” The staircase does not let him, and he slides down “OW!” Tebaxi cant go up Rhys enters room and sees elvan woman and she is giggling like “haha the mew man cant see me” “its magic vanta black paint” “do you work here?” “ye” Ryhs is gaslighting mew man that the elf woman is there “I trust the magic cat!” Melon wants to intimidate the staircase to turn into an escalator and let him up It works Tina and the cat jumps on Ryhs can only see the elvan woman and hes all crazy “wanna see something funny?” She snaps her fingers and they all see the room for 30 seconds before snapping it back Rex and Michael Jackson play smooth criminal to get let up the staircase and rex can see the lady Tina punches the wall “so you guys are here for a secret thing?” “mhm” She leads us to the vault and pulls out Sensei woo goes on a sidequest to go to Ninjago book section Rex and Rhys are given a bag of holding and told “do not open it” Oh no people are at the door We hear a gunshot. No actually, seven. NOOOOO BUFF WIZARD Fuck its ice! Woo learns to be a masterbuilder in a matter of seconds and he has to go on a quest but he was sent to the middle by ice. Woo keeps reading, but its too complex. Tina goes down the stairs We get some potions and make a plan with the oil and fire The goons have masks and light clothing Lead guy is a goliath Mew man heals buff wizard Tina uses acid on the goliath and punched him Otherworldly slam Fight battle stuff Rhys tosses the bottle of healing all the way to mew man Tina parkours off other bad guys and jumps the goliath and punches him. HE DIES! “oh shit, focus fire on that one!” We keep beating them up Buff wizard flexes and does the Arnold pose and lightning shoots out like Palpatine and kills one Buff wizard works with us and tebaxi tries to convince us to burn down the library. Hes like “or… I know a spell called earthquake” The tebaxi starts throwing our oil everywhere (especially the stairs) “HELP IM COVERED IN OIL” He gets helped out Woo does spinjitsu Buff wizard does a clap and a sumo step that makes cracks and the entire place begins to shake We light a match, put it in a tinderbox, throw it in, and it all burns. It’s a firework show Tebaxi keeps wanting pocket ash Woo steals the bag of holding from rex, opens it, a baby monster popsout, the monstewrs mom looks at us and lets out a roar. We throw it into the fire. We threw a chikld terask and the terask mom follows us for 20 years, destroying city after city and they shun ua and the buff wizard sacrifices himself for us and we all die to the terask.

DM: abby Players: bird (julian) rogue, Wallace, scarlett rogue, Fin, drake gun (black furred cat person) rogue, teifling chessed warlock. Its been 3 weeks Were at the island Its always wet Cat person got arrested for arson (of the library) 5 in the evening Bird has lost his marbles Cat man is behind bird The other prisoners are around (tabaxi, dragonborne, halfling, and maybe scarlett?) Established gang leaders Bird sneaks away as drake asks an orc to join the gang Bird and fin make a deal that drake will die at the end pf the day Bigithin bigsmasher The orc convo is not going good. All the gangs gather Orcs lead by big orc, hobgoblins, and goblins, human and half humans. The guards who are in rotation when Bird screams and caws have gone insane. Two of the hobgoblins fight, the others yell, guards rush in, bird starts screaming, the guards leave. Bird has a rock friend (he’s gone crazy) Prison grandma is a cool lady. Shes never lost a fight. Drake wants to fight everyone Its humid and stickly and hot all the time 3A is human territory, 3c is ord, 3d goblin, 3e graveyard. We notice as the light comes in from the hall, the pits of wster looks deepr than they should be. Its deepr than it was. The other teifling dives down into the water and its darker and darker Perhaps there is tectonic activity Scarlett decides to go in, and dives into the water. She got a 1. We hear more splashes from other rooms The goblins are jumping into the water too but they cant swim Bird bets on one drowning. Wallace has 6 copper Cat sells his fur for money He sells to the highest bigger The orcs buy it for 40 damn copper bird gets 10 and he pays off his 3 copper to fin. Hes in business now. The hobgoblins are also looking at the water Perhaps there is an aquafer The orcs have not even noticed the water. The kobold comes back up with the hobgoblins Bird CAWS and announces his presence to the hobgoblins “just water” Scarlett listens in and speaks goblin, there is a tunnel in the bottom. Wallace gets accepted by the orcs bc “I know that cat guy” Orc tosses a random hobgoblin into the water The kobold tries again He has asthma?! Bird dives in next Hes good at it Rusty dagger is found and a wooden box Other teifling goes to bird to tell him that information Scarlett and bird make it into the underwater caves The area is a new area It’s a corridor off to the left They hear the kobold scream before it suddenly cuts off, and bird is totally blind so he’s absolutely horrified. Now only Wallace and drake are outside on the surface. Wallace gets 2 while diving into the water But then we both make it now

DM: winn Players: cod, fish man paladin. Winstin, 68 year old distinguished gentleman, fighter with the pinky out. Bill bogsby, goblin, warlock and soceror, bugbear fighter with a crossbow, jim bob changling sorcerer, shapeshifted into john doe. Mavrack, 6’3 grey half orc, wearing chainmail, and drunk, fighter. Wallace, archer, warville noggers baggy, nervous white guy, part of the conundrum company, and his dire wolf, doobious goob. Bard. We have borded the iron worm, a train that rubs through the dessert. We in the back of the bus. For poor ppl. Wallace gets to keep his dagger Our swords and shit get taken There are horse riding people along the sides on the outside, following. Someone is on the ceiling, walking around. The butler fighter try to leave but four men with swords come in. this is a robbery! Goblin feeds goob a hot pepper and gives him fire breath. This entire train is going down. Goob is being held and is thrown towards the bandits He hits all of them (and cod) Grey orc picks up one of the robbers and tosses him out the window. Two robbers get pushed out the door by robot and someone casts gust and they die Everyone jumps and stabs one guy We all move on the next train car Its another passenger car They have also been robbed We move on The train speeds up We try to go further, but the door wont open. We see the thugs at the lockers on the other side. Wallace and archers and the butlers box. And cod. They get our shit. “my clothes!” “like guys, what if we throw the dog onto the roof” “guys theres a ladder” The butler walks to the ladder in anger. He climbs. We all (8 of us) hide on the sides. The changling changes into a robber to get the other robbers to open the door. “help, they’re fighting back! Two of us were pushed under the train!” They slide the door open and then grey orc slams it open They all storm in. Everyone gets destroyed and set on fire On the roof… Bigsby feeds goob blue cheese and does more dragons breath for poison damage. We all try to move into the car being stormed. We try to make it to the ladder on the other side. Bogsby shoots grease through the hatch (baby oil?!) onto all the bad guys Wallaces spare outfit gets greased and Wallace is like “its already ruined, just burn it!!!” Everything in that cart is on fire but it burns all the grease, so there’s no fire anymore. Wallace mocks the last guy so hard he takes damage He dies of a heart attack The train starts back up and goes faster again. We will all steal from all the other lockers We all move forward We see a car full of dead bodies so there was a fight here Butler talks to some rich ppl and we move on We see a dragonborn who is dead in the next one. (not dead yet but diying) he is pointing a crossbow and the grey orc helps and heals him. Wallace and cod also heal him. He tells us to go find a woman, a high elf. Goob, noggers, and bogsby go to the top of the train. They see a turn we are going full speed towards. We continue on, to a fancy dining car. We keep going, to see the lady. She is being forced to unlock a treasure chest. Orc bursts in first, We all storm in. The orb the gun slinger pulls from the chest is magic. He breaks it apart, and inside, is little black sphere. It’s a sphere of annihilation. Don’t touch it. He throws it at us!? It launches at archer, orc, and bogsby. Theres just a solid hole in the three of them. Shaggy falls into the fire and the guy casts fireball on ALL OF US. Orc plays dead. More fireball! Cod stabs rifle man with a javalin and now the orb can be under control of someone else. But don’t touch it. Archer goes to the sphere Dex save, only takes half damage. Goob and Bigsby are going to the engine. They gon flip this shit. We just keep beating up the rifle guy The train crashes and we all die

DM: winn Players: tor dwarf cleric, rex, roland the tabaxi rogue, master woo part 2 the human monk, sergae the wildmagic barbarian goliath. We are all on a ship called “the sinkable” to go across the sea to grand port. We have been hired as security guards by caption Oleg. He only takes the fastest safest routes they are totally safe. He is the most reputable Sailer. We have to go on the stormy path and not the pretty sunny one. Tor is doing titanic off the front of the boat. “hold me!” The tabaxi starts clawing and climbing to the crows nest and he just kicks the guy out. Rex sees there’s only meat and beef and hardtack to snack on. Master woo is playing the flute, Ninjago theme. We hear lots of crates and shit being flung around. We see two people brawling. Rex just picks up one and takes him off and away. Sergae goes in, the lady tries to punch him, she breaks her hand. Tor casts a spell, yells, we all take damage and the crew all yells in pain from headaches. Someone’s been raiding the food. We check the basement. Its only hardtack. Rex gets a 1. The others hear munching “arrgh!” “I be silverbeard, I aint no pirate! Im harmless!” his right foot is peg leg, black coat with leather under, no hook for hands. Eyepatch just for looks. He gets bonked with a grat axe. And attacked. We start brawling. Oleg comes down “whats happening?!” “hes walking the plank!” “Actually sweep the poop deck” “id rather rather walk the plank than do manual labor” He has a pile of hardtack the size of a dwarf. Just scooping t into his mouth. The other two have to watch to make sure he cleans He ies a single tear run diwn his cheek “isn’t that the cheek ur eyepatch is on?” “uhh… no” He starts putting the hardtack back. He sneaks some into his pockets He ifnds hardtack in other barrels but its soft tack, soggy hard tack. “have you heard of the one piece?” “argh! Me and my pirate crew- I mean- sailors-“ “whoever has the one piece becomes king of the hardtack.” All his teeth are gold “I promoise not everything I tiugh will turn into hardtack, not yet. Until I get the one piece” We make it back up to the top deck. We’ve made our way into the fog. Visibility is shit. We hear a warhorn sound and we have to get to our stations at the sides. “whats that?” “I dunno!” Its coming from behind the ship Massive Crabs crawl up the sides with riders and start obliterating everyone. Oleg gets stabbed. Crabtaurs, the people on the crab are actually part of the crab. Rex gets his ribs broken I cause a spell on the crab to cause the sound of sizzling butter in its mind and it runs away Their menu is hardtack, human flesh, rocks, seaweed, garbage, soft tack. Master woo has tamed a crab. Its his pet now. Theres a fucking KRAKEN?!?!?! Were all gon die Ronold jumps down from the crows nest and has two daggers and stabs the kraken. We all fire all 12 cannons all at once and kill the kraken.

DM: Abby Players: john wafflyhouse, master woo, john t diabetes, etc We in danger We in the hole The kobold was screaming then it stopped. Its pitch black. The other four have been lost. Group one og: bird, Wallace, Group two: everyone else We in a room that’s a tiny opening that leads elsewhere. Gross and humid. Torch is made, bird steals it. Teifling is sneaking into cave opening where monster sounds came from. Giant-ass spider. The whole room is covered in cobwebs. Lets swt the whole thing on fire Whole room Lots a shananigins Spinning and rolling down infanate hallway ,eet wizard He heals us We escape

DM: Abby Players: Wallace We return to the lions glory Scarlet got bailed out and has all her stuff but we do not have our stuff back. We can buy more equipment at the guild. We have spent four days at sea. We return to the guild. We are in a giant open oak tree like a big hotel, big receptionist desk, etc. theres like 8,000 other parties. We see some knights, a secretary, and the guildmaster, the main healer lady, a deployer, and guy who makes sure we get paid. Wallace needs to go to the cloak and dagger. He needs new stuff. Our wizard and fin go to the library and he finds comics. He gets all of them. Bird Brenda Walmart and the robot ask the lady for their backpay bc they were in jail. Chessed and bird were supposed to go help an orphanage that they ended up burning down “they have not contacted us since u arrived” We all get 160 gold as compensation We herd rumers that the other party killed th only gay man in icewindale and are massacaring a village and have a demon prince We get a new mission We can either deliver shrooms, save a child, help owlbear at a circus, or we can be tax collectors. We help the child The guild supplies 100 total gold for the journey We go to the town and such ad to the orphanage His parents were last seen at the operahouse Two human women Hmmm Someone is targeting the rich Hows that an issue? We talk to johnny and ask about his parents and we ask if he knows anything Whats ur hiuse look likeum… um.. well.. uh.. i.. I had, you, you can… yes. Hes like 5 We look at thw newspaper His parents are lawyers We go to the couthouse to investigate We lie to the receptionist and lie that we are private imvestigators We look at her office and find her last case was for a young drow. We find drug deals and such in her notes from the trial she did recently. We are at the opera now and find more clues. Bird lies again and says he needs to speak to the manager. We have to pve the chairs bc someone replaced the carpet. We remove the paneling and under the panwel there are faded teleportation runes We know whqt made them disappear Trace the IP address? Leanna moonstone was invploved in the final case of the laywey, she may have done it Its definatly her. Make sure this kid doesn’t turn into batman

DM: Abby Players: beonca the Walmart employee with gun. Julian bird man rogue, greggor bug guy, likes bugs wants to find more, bard. Halfner human monk, attempted wizard. Deovis wood elf, rogue, stupid. Mag half orc fighter. Jackrin gnome wizard, fin human wizard. Wallace, gay bard. The wizards remember the details of the spell circle we found under their chairs. It is too high level of a spell. We should break into her house. Leana moonswept has lived here for ages, went to high wizard school, is the most powerful wizard in the city. Near royalty in political power. Shit. She is at charity events. One is happening tonight. We gotta have a political assassination. Her goons might be around bc she runs a gang. We split the party. We just go to the party and beat up the goons and violate the giniva convention Summon familiars or rats or throw a brick into the window We go stake out the house Its magical for sure and full of whimsy We check for security Loop of the property We are not good at looking The owl saw some shit There are guards, mostly standing still some walking. Theres some guards but not many. 12 We have like a couple hours before we have to enter the house. So 4 of us will break in, disguised, and the rest of us will go to the gala event to monitor her and keep track of the goons. Or kidnap them. Team one is Walmart, bird, greggor, monk, wizard. Team 2 is general distraction at party and kidnapping team. Its 8 o clock at night now. Lady teleported to the gala Time to break in Bird picks lock with beak Bird peeks over wall The guards are floating armor Break in time Walmart employee jumps someone They all just go in and kill a guy They put the armor into the bag of holding to sell later The first room is a servents hallway They enter a kitchen and then the foyer of the home They yell fire They make a fog cloud and distract all the servents in the kitchen Everyone panics and are too overworked to care and they al steal uniforms They go to the third floor Meanwhile, at the gala…. Lots of super fancy people here We just walk in We all got fancy clothes Wallace dresses everyone fabulously Huge ballroom as pretty as the people are We spot the wizard in a gorgeous white gown patterned in real diamonds Wallace gotta meet her stylist Everyone who has any political power is here Everyone in the gang has a claw scar on the arm or shoulder Wallace has to get people clothes off We pick out three guys who are keeping a eye on her And one more, so 4 Two goliaths and an orc Goliath at the buffet Whats wallaces type? Yes. Wallace flirts with the goliath “are you a mountain, because I have an uege to climb you?” And leads him to the bathroom to get jumped “grapple him!” Does he have drugs? Can I bust his kneecaps in? Wallace rips his jacket off Everyone else is hising and hes too focused on wallCE TO notice Everyone busts out and breaks his kneecaps “do you sell drugs btw?” “Are you happy to see me or do you have cocaine in your pocket?” “sexy scar, where did you get that?” He is charmed He is locked in “in my line of business you get some scars” “what kind?” “that’s confidential?” “how confidential?” Wallace gives the signal His kneecaps get broke and he is no longer Wallace is too cozy againt him to move Hold person is cast on him Hes getting ambushed while hard Break his ither knee Boh his acilees tenders get snapped and sliced Wallace casts zone of truth on him If he lies, Wallace knows He says they keep people they kidnap at the base where they keep nobles And people that owe them money There is a secret entrance at the ladies manor and a second on the outskirts of the city Every time he lies take his nails This is the worst one night stand of his life One more hour before she leaves What do we do with his body I have four axes Hes fucking- hes dead. Is there a drain? Air duct? Were all covered in blood, Wallace has good taste “no, not my yellow suite!” its American phyco The bathrioom is in the middle of the ballroom If we all get naked and run, they will kick us out. It’s a political statement We cast invesisability and take our shoes off How thick is goliath blood? Get rid of the body “start eating” hannabal lecter We just walk out and go back to the manor They have extra uniforms for us Bird tries to pick a lock and sets off an alarm We bust down the door and we get into the room It’s a giant spiral staircase We all run down The big guy tries to hold it, but the guards get through The second group is out front and we all the guards run inside We all go in

DM: Abby Players: beonca the Walmart employee with gun. Julian bird man rogue, greggor bug guy, likes bugs wants to find more, bard. Halfner human monk, attempted wizard. Deovis wood elf, rogue, stupid. Mag half orc fighter. Jackrin gnome wizard, fin human wizard. Wallace, gay bard. There is no one currently after us and we have now come down the spiral staiurcase. Marching order: ? We come to a wine cellar There is a sewer grate We take a bunch of wine into our bag of holding We go into the sewer tunnel and go in and crawl (bird and orc) A secret tunnel is found We all go but bird, into the secret tunnel Theres something beyond the hallway, after we went into a new room. There are cells in the other room, cell doors. Theres a second room with stuff in it, it’s a laboratory. They go through papers in the lab. He acquires pocket fent and mwth and drugs They find a chemist lady whos in a cell andchas been trapped. Bird emerges into a slime monster pit Bird steals a guys wedding ring bc he has divorse paoers (he shot him with dart) We find a drug room We go into a cave Giant slime in cave and 3 little ones We defeat em We go into a MASSIVE underground fancy rich person bunker Bird blow darts a goblin guard and he falls over He drops his axe and orc gets a magic axe Bird eats moldy food from kitchen We keep going forward We find 5 gaurds in a room and attack them We kll them and steal their shit and weapons 8 swords We see a bunch of cells. Omg we found marylin and dotty!!! We free everyone We go to that suspicious looking summoning alter room Orc goes to the pulpit and suddenly vanishes. There is also a room with dead bodies. Statue is Egyptian god of death and theres hyrogliphics everywhere Lots and lots of ritual, cursed, and holy items and weapons. We come across a door We unlock it We FLEE Its an exit! Maylin and dotty thank us and get their son They go to their treasure room And bring back a big bag of gold Then they go to the cops 80 gold each for us 500 gold worth of wine split 9 ways We snort the pocket fent

DM: Winn Players: Tina, Wallace, shifter, diovis wood elf rogue, sergae, garen the monk, gojo sorcerer We work for the lions glory. Outside golspire is a scary forest. Beasts have left the forest to terrorize people. We have been warned of lizardfolk. Magic portal door opens to the forest. Its an open clear field by a dirt road that leads into the forest. There is a small outpost. Little building. Someone in the tower spots us and the bell rings on its own. Garet approaches and walks out in armor. Goofy armor. We tell them we are here to take care of the hive. “they sent more?” “more?!” “yeah they haven’t come back yet” “talk to the lizard people they may know where the hive is!” We got an 8 on survival Gojo intimidates the three tina climbs The trees in this forest move a little We read the stars??? Theres a big arrow in the tree so maybe we should follow it? A thousand feet out there are big trees We all go that way Yuji and garen are hoisted up by a rope trap and windchimes alert whoever caught them Garen cant get out None of us notice anything around us Tina throwing knife gets him down Uh oh We see four eyes And needle teeth and leathery skin The size of a wolf They jump us and take us by surprise Gojo casts fireball? Wallace gets his leg stabbed Oouch Tina curb stom0ped one Sergae rages and gets wildmagic and casts reduce on himself. He shrinks. By half. He is a goliath so hes like four three and a half feet tall now. It shoots teeth?! Tina kills like two Garen stabs one and it dies like a skewer Yuji turns racist towards sergae As we all are picking up after the fight we see lizardfolk in the trees We speak to em He comes down from the three Tells us about the hive The rest of the lizardfolk come down from the trees now We plan to join them in their village for a long rest before we join them to attack the hive Suddenly yuji stabs the guy in the neck and goes “hey” Tina and gonen double punxh him in the face “Ur too sexy to die” Wallace heals him, carless whispers plays in bg Then the lizards, they see all of us do this Wallace and gojo talk to em and the lizardfolk hogtie yujji We walk with em back through the woods We get to their village They have spherical homes Wallace, gojo and sergae, all climb after the lizard guy The lizard guy is lowering a basket to get em. They tie yuji up hanging 50 feet in the air.

DM: Winn Players: Tina, Wallace, shifter, diovis wood elf rogue, sergae, garen the monk, mag, yuji. We get put in funny ball Everyone Beonca, Wallace, mag, in ball. Tina, and everyone else in another ball Tina levitates the cage to the ground after the rope is cut Sergae hacks at the wood cage till it breaks How do the losers escape? We swing the ball and tina casts gust We swing it onto the deck or the tree and we hold on Sukina wakes up from the shaking (yuji) Loser team also makes it out the ball and up the tree We pull up sukina Mag backpacks sukina and carries him over his shoulder, still tied up. Fully like a mummy? Hes into it?! Tina and Wallace go to talk to the lizard people Theres a massive party hut Lots ppl, tables, groups of ppl. Total of 50. Music, drinks, arm wrestling, theres a bar. Slowly more look to the door. Tina sees the main guy who ia hatsine miku teal He doing karaoke Wallace goes to sing? Wallace plays zilent whispers ion my kwyboard and sings it This shit fire Tina meanwhile… Tina goes to arm wrestle the lizardfolk They are betting on who will win Tina wins by a pinch The poor lizard guy is too drunk Tina gets the money bet against her Everyone else walks in, sees tina and Wallace. Some lizardfolk are watching and some are not. miku lizard is still angry. Garon asks a tougher looking lizardfolk where the hive is. Then he goes over to miku guy and the lizard sees everyone like “danmit, they all got out” He says they will hwlp them get to the hive (out party) “in the meantime, keep an eye on that one. Put him back on the bridge” “go support local businesses” Wallace finishes, miku goes back to singing, we all go to the bar. The bartender offers us the “special” its ale with centipedes. Oh… It tastes like a Nintendo cartage Wallace gives his to miku Tina does more arm wrestling Tina wins against mag Tina goes against a pretty lizard lady Simp Tina lets her win she winks at her and lets her win Rizz worked We sleep at the inn How dare u put me in a cage before buying me a drink you oversized geko We get a room We wake up, get food, its fuckn bugs. Miku assembles the squad of the nine of us. And a couple others lizardfolk. Miku leads us through the forest Miku says sukina is first into the cave when we arrive He gets shoved in He has no darkvision, no nothin Two paths forward He does some fire spell We just go Yuji, garon, tine, sergae, in front Lizardfolk in back We are hit with a stench Rancid, rotting food. We see piles of rancid food and meat, and we also see some of the bugfolk munching on that shit. We all just jump them We fail so bad but eventually get past em We move on It’s a room More rancid shit The walls are lined with tiny little tunnels everywhere We heat chittering and little bug footsteps Mag peeks into a hole and a baby bug jumps at his face They all start comin out of the walls We all run out immediately We go to a new room We hear a runble and the queen arrives! Alongside its allies. It’s the swam monarch! We suddenly are doing so well! Luther kills the queen with fireyaaaaay! We win!

DM: abby We must clean a wizards tower We can keep any goodies we find Someone decides to break window Someone open the \unlocked door Lots of broken shit inside “I ponder” We keep trying dumb ways to get in Theres a big bottle of red mystery goo Someone drinks all of it??? It turns the druid into a wizard We find a magic crystal orb? “I would like to ponder it” The wizard has more than one property, this is his vacation home! : ) They find a mask Do not wear the suspicious shady mask 2nd story is a mix of a kitchen and alchemist room Stuff has been thrown and there was… a fight?! Someone here wants to make food in the kitchen Pancakes The flour is cocaine??? No He made 40????? We each get 4 Pocket pancakes Rex and Wallace got switched Rex is seducing some dragon in Los Vagas We all go to the 2nd floor We find a rainbow vial of mystery potion and sniff it Sniff the fumes His toga pancakes are stolen, the old man The wizard is apparently not in a good mental state I can fix him Roll 10 to not piss yourself I ponder We go to 3rd floor Garin finds a letter that’s unreadable We all go to the 4th floor This room… is pristine. Oh no This was a womans room, the wifes room?! Magic divorece papers! But wizards don’t get girflfreinds I take a hit of my magical potion The philosopher was once an incel Ganon gets mystery rings I must ponder Roll initiative???? A room full of rats Ugh!!!!! I ponder the rats Giant-ass rats The old man engages the rat in a philosophical debate He just starts dancing Wallace insults the rat He poofs into dust Divine smite the rat POOF Spontaneous combustion We see some maniquins And crates Of cyristals!!!

DM: bo Party one shot Group: concert lady Lark, radar, rex, sherrif fenris, mina tiara fire genasi munk peace and love, winstin the butler, ness the detective. We on a train Wild west Some dudes mercenaries (baren) are jerks to everyone We see someone signa;ing the trains arrival Hes blind He has a bucket on his head Rex got lost Ferris is on vacation Winstin was abonded by his family (twice) It’s a magic train! Hulk the bugbear motions for us go follow him He says he wants us to do something dangerous “he might be from outer space” Tax fraud?! Back during the war…. We will rob a car, go to dead mans canyon- grandpa snores- “wake up!” Everyone pulls out guns Winstin keeps falling asleep vess keeps doing detective work is there anyone in need of healing? “theres an orphan child ran over by a train” the air genasi floats down to help the orphan boy whos foot got cyut off “god?!” he heals him he floats him towards winstin whos deaf chikld labopr he attenpts to toss him forward he falls back onto the railway!?!?! Vess jogs and slides up to radar “what happened?!” “he fell” The enferneer that was looking at yous has his hands on his head like “what the fuck?!” Vess goes to get him and gets electrocuted Now his clothes are on fire Throw water on the electrocuted boy!!! We have 21 hours Grandpa been long resting The kid is DEAD Radar THROWS HIM BACK ONTO THE TRACKS He then incriminates everyone else “they are all with me!!!” We all go to the tavern That mprning the constable knocks on the door “so there was an incident yesterday” “im a paladin of watcher I watched it” “the town wants to skin you alive” He blames it on paranormal activity “the aliens made me do it” “you are going to leave this town in cages” “the safety of this town is my job-“ “nuh uh” Casts divine steed Gives declaration to the crowd of 500 ppl Mina tries to get past the guy too and he pulls out two pistols They are persuaded Rex gets on the steed with Fenris to run to the train Vess is getting shot at after running for the window Rex wants to kidnap (smuggle) an orphan Theyre already wanted anyways, whats one more charge? The mob actively attacks radar Radar floats like jesus and gets pelted by rocks and a random javelin We meet up with the ppl at the station We try to convince the ticket giver We are wanted “that kid was my buddy” Grandpa looks out the train window like “I know those guys” We tried to bribe the guy “you have my business card, take another” “it’s a gatar name gaentee-“ bible serman Radar levitates vess into a train window and yells “-hes breakin in!!!” He finishes with a bang from being slammed into the train “THUD” he dies. The tickwet teller is likje “ph god its happening again?!!!!” slams a button Vess wakes up in the trains “now this… this… is a lead!!” “why yall healing me rn” “why is there a dent that looks like my face” We found our way on the train eventually The rich ppl in the car are horrified of us Oh no get the child away from radar Vess addresses the crowd to calm them “mommy look, that mans face is imprinted on yhe metal” Grandpa is like “who are you ppl?!” One of the elfs pulls out a shawed off shot gun. “sit down” “your under arrest” The elves invite rex to play poker Fenris askses what school they went to for criminal justace They were in rival frats Grandpa sits down and falls asleep The next town is fenrises town “can I take a shit yet?!” It’s a warning for now Roll intimidation check “get that old fuck outta here” “language ypuong man” theyre like 300 Winstin is brought o an open air car He has to pretend hes stuck to stall “ive fallen and I cant get up” The others in the main cart move in to tackle the elves Battle The other elf asks the grandpa what its like being old “it sucks” “ya ever been through war sunny?” cut Fights over Winstin is still shittin We will steal the dead elves gear and pretend “you are out here undfessin corpses” We go out and convince them to go to the edge of the open cart We push two off ando ne of us grabs georges coat collar Grandpa thinks theres a rebelian Viss comes in and sees We tie up George and get everyone else out Fenris uses divine sense to see if hes an alien HES A MIND FLAYER The door of the third car opens Black dragonborn opens door He cuts the connection to the cars and leaves with the gold Drats

DM: abby Players: Yohan briggins, korvo, tibo, diovis, silver beard, Jefferson creole, aurora, Wallace We at a murder mystery ball??? We are in mornsted, an unnotable town. It’s a resting spot between adventures. We each got a visit from an owl and we got invites to a ball. Its to celebrate a knight and there is a banquette. The town is aware of his gifts and such. He was once a sorcerer but is a recluse now. Silverbeard is in a carriage, drunk, rolls out. Hes lost. (left eye eyepatch) Yohan reeks and stinks. Tibo raided wallaces store “hey that’s mine!” Diovis robs wallaces competitors store. Jefferson goes clothes shopping (hes a little cooked on meth) The sun sets and aurara also arrives They come across a tower with a garden We all arrive The welcome mat is magical Silverbeard is already drunk with Yohan (whos sober) This ballroom is bigger on the inside than the outside There is an old lady elf who is important We also see a dwarf in a chefs hat, (boyaredee) chatting with a wizard, and a redwood tree man. Yohan grabs hardtack for a sick silverbeard It fixes him Tibi is breaking it down on the dancefloor with mayor mongumery Dancing to classical jazz Lady gwindalin is the richest in the room Wallace and silverbeard are the same age Whos the richest man in the room? He’ll steal the mayer. Tobi will steal away the mayor (consentingly) Wallace will take him and dip him down and winks at him The mayor did not know he was gay until now Hes build like a two by four and goes all red with steam out his ears Heart eyes Wallace almost feels bad that hes gonna take all his money (mr mongomery) We then see a door on the left side of the room. And older man with a mustache and purple robes that match the banners in the room. Hes not addressing the whole room tho. “I have spoken to the arch mage, our final guest is delayed” we go to the sitting room. Then we will go to the banquette after. Aurora and tobi drunkenly dance on the dance floor We will have free reign of the estate but not in the archdukes quarters. We will meet in the parlor in 15 minutes. Douvis goes to the relic and trophy room Jefferson is in laboratory All the relics and trophies are behind glass but not for long…. They are shiny. Hes got the equivalent of a Nobel peace prize and etc. He sees a gem and also an amulet. And etc. there is one that has a sign that says “do not touch” so obviously hes gotta touch it. There is a dagger as well and he grabs it. Magic dagger! Jefferson is in the labratory he opens a diry and a locked book and reads it before deciding ultilmently to make meth. he got so pissed off that there were no meth making matierial that he lights the diary on fire. meanwhile back in the main ballroom, no one else has arrived. most of us are getting drunk at the buffet. wallace is getting drunk with the mayor and wallace asks about taxes and money and the towns buisness. he says hes expecting a good harvest. wait is the mayor married? if theres not ill make one! i see no ring. he was looking for an escort and got escorted. as we all reconvine in the main room. we see the tree guy preforming some music on stage. the mayor and lady whats her name and the wizard are doing some preporations. the wizard turns to us and asks if we want anything to drink. tibo still hears music in his head. agathar (person we were waiting for) shows up he begins his frightfull tail of his journy north. as his tale concludes he points to his recovred artifacts. one is a circular breastplate, then a massive pearl that makes memories that blanks the touchers memory, then a pair of matching ram horns that act like walkie talkies. chef boyardee says dinner is ready. he leads us into a room with a table for 16 ppl, and we see a massive portrait of the archmage. we have named reserved seats! fancy! silverbeard waits to see whatever seat is left unfilled (bc his invitation was stolen from someone else) the first course is a smoked griffen rib (big chicken) and more drinks! the final guest shows up in the foyar he returns with a tall blue dragonborn, dressed in laquired white armor with gold trim. "jessica wargreives" he greets us. hes a little egotistical. the wizard goes to fetch the archmage. the wizard is like the butler. lets get keys and drive someones mercedes benz drunk! its just a really nice carriage. the mayor talks to him for a bit. diovis: how ornate is this silverware? silverbeard removes his food and put hard tack on it. he shatters the plate, and the fork. Yohan asks about jessica for a bit. we hear a scream THE ARCHEMAGE IS DEAD!!!!! lady gwindaline faints, tree man helps her. yohan is like "wait im a traveling doctor! is he dead for real style?" "he was laying in a pool of blood" "in my proffesional opinion, thats supposed to be on the inside" divious: may i visit the body? (hes gonna loot it) jessica will explain a plan that there only a certain amount of doors and etc. "the killer must be here among us!!!" GASP jessica takes the lead we need to act quickly before all the evidance dissapears (due to magic) tobi asks bingl if the door was locked (butler) silverbeard grabs and shakes his fist angerly at bangle and is going through hardtack withdrawl. "give us answers!!!" "its possible he murdered him!!!" "maybe bangl killed the archmage to be in the will! Im a lawyer in my freetime" the buisness card is edched into hardtack. yohan, tobi, and diovis, ans silverbeard as well go to look at the body. they investigate. they see no footprints. yohan goes to look at the body. hes been stabbed. they look for hidden passageways since theres no other ways into the room but the door. they also try to open sealed blood soaked letters. they are unreadable. aurora goes to the basement. there is not much in there. the kitchen (above) also has lots of mage/spectral hands cooking his food for him. the mayor and agithar and bangl are searching rooms to see a motive. wallace seperates from the mayor and joins the ones looking at the body. tibo and wallace are so drunk wallace hears his name being whispered about.... suspiciously. are they acussing him of murder??? yohan is like "im a good sorceror but necromancy... uhhh..." go to the library and find a spellbook for that. we go to secret passage, sc ret tunneeeeellllll they find a trophy in a cooking pot and theyre like "why?" "he was hungry" something something silverbeard says a gay joke "i dont sail them seas, thats all wally" we do not find a secret passage i overhear "wallace is just abnormal" from the party silverbeard comes back "ayyy mattiew what happened here!?!?!?" "whwre were u when the murder happened wallace?!" "not doin much" then the guys go ask the mayor to see if his stories coralate with wallaces. he recalls his dance with wallace. he doesnt know his name but hes enamored. aurora lurks aeound and finds clues too and sees them talk to the mayor agathar has found a paper in the pantry with poison wirrten on it and they think the chef may have a motive now too. perhaps someone is framing the chef? we have a suspect "diovus where are you" "my brother told me about you" yohon is the other guys brother we all hear a yell as diouvis has stabbed jessica just like, in fornt of us. bc "bad mojojojo" we get silverbeard to follow and jessica is ok thankfully jee the guy that likes shint things stabbed a guy with shiny things jessica tackles diouvis to the ground silverbeard offers hardtack to the dragon "diovis was trying the hide the bloodied dagger by covering it in more blood!" yohan aurora says we should lpck him in the dungeon. to interogate him.